Parenting: Today’s Teens

It happens to us all who are still stuck with the ‘old fashioned’ morals of times long since past. As we take our children to school or drive to the grocery store there is usually a kid or two that your child knows. It was absolutely amazing to me when I saw a girl come up to my son just the other day to say hello and give some ‘opinions’ about a teacher at their schoolâÂ?¦ her hair was dyed and streaked, she had a cell phone in her hand, acrylic nails were place professionally on her fingers, the language that came from her mouth was snotty and sarcastic not to mention a few vulgar words found their way easing from her lips and she was by herself in the busiest part of town alone. The little girl was in the third grade. It struck me right then and there that children are so much more adultified than my generation and I am only in my twenties.

After seeing this in elementary school children I decided to see what the older children thought on this subject and what I found opened my eyes to a much larger problem that we all have dismissed as an ‘evolving’ society. I sat down in an interview with an average California High School student who lives in Rocklin, and I must say her responses were deeply focused.
She would rather not be named for reasons that will soon become clear, as her views that will be shared throughout this article belong to, and are embraced by, most teens in the Rocklin/Roseville area. This young lady goes to the new Liberty High and has many friends from Roseville who share in this common way of life and thought. Our two cities are becoming a part of an alarming statistic and most parents don’t even know it yet.

“High School is like college, as teens we take parental figures out of the equation and assume the role.” My eyes opened wider as I looked at this young teenage girl who had just turned fifteen. She went on to say: “Our views on life issues at school determine for us who we can comfortably socialize with. As ‘Today’s Teens’ we think that we are adultsâÂ?¦ most of us smoke, and for us girls society has made it very easy by removing parents as decision makers in this world for us, like we can go get on birth control and stuff without any consent among other things of that nature. It really doesn’t matter any more what parents try and say as far as the old ways like marriage before family, and stuff like that because most laws say that they have no ground to stand onâÂ?¦ it’s all about us and what we want for ourselves. When society began taking away our parent’s right to make decisions on our behalf, we were forced to take the role of ‘adult’.”

I asked if there was anything at all she thought could be done to feel less stressed as today’s teens seem to be, well the ones who want an education anyway. I saw that most kids heading onto her campus were drinking mass amounts of Starbuck’s coffee and trading work with each other to avoid actually doing it themselves. To which she replied while shaking her head: “I’m not sure if there is anything that can be done to make us feel less stressed, I mean society has pushed us so far ahead of our time in the fact of our behavior and standards that we all have gotten so far into this ‘ring’ where six year olds have cell phones and Sophomores sue their parents if they get out of line and try to lay down too much law in the homeâÂ?¦
Unfortunately, a lot of teens feel this way, it’s like a disease and it’s spreadingâÂ?¦ People like me are just trying to fit and really don’t know what will happen next. The way I see it, when the role os parenting was removed and we began adopting our peers as ‘family’ to help us with our issues it set a new kind of life for us to lead. I am sure most parents hear a lot of things like their kids calling a friend ‘sister or brother’ this usually means that person they referred to is like a parent as far as going to them with problems and suchâÂ?¦ most of today’s teens don’t like parents because it means you’re older, we would rather be an equal to the person telling us what to do, and when another teen you trust tells you to do something, you do itâÂ?¦ we are our own keepers basically. It’s funny, when I watch movies from the 80’s and stuff it seems that all kids just wanted to make their parents proud at all cost, like succeeding in school and life mattered to them, but now we all here to make our friends happy and fit in that’s our sole purposes of going to school.”

I tried to swallow this pill of harsh reality and when I did without showing fear, I asked a final question hoping to capture a glimmer of hope that all was not lost in the schools. What message would you send to others that are being affected by this issue across the nation? I was a little afraid of the response, however, she was a nice girl and was being so honest about what goes on in the daily life of the average city teen that I had faith she would continue to be informative.

“Anyone who faces the ‘crowd’ is brave. Doing the right thing takes guts, I am one person in a handful who still respect my parents and I hope that somewhere along the line more will too. Life is a test, so pay attention. Even though I see the way some of my friends push their parents out and watch them squirm as if they are helpless like a worm on a hook, I refuse to be that kind of person. It may be hard, and I know that life on campus can be more harsh and brutal than most people realize but stand your ground and who knows maybe the whole concept will become ‘cool’ again and kids will go back to being kidsâÂ?¦ stranger things have happened.” With that she gave a giggle and a slight shrug of her shoulders, turned around and walked into the sea of students.

I was speechless, this had truly been an eye-opening experience. So, the next time we are face to face with our children maybe we will take a moment to place values and morals in their minds and let them know how much they are loved. I am hoping that our youth does not continue to go down this road that they seem so content to travel, but then again I guess that really depends on our parenting, doesn’t it?