Picking Out Engagement and Wedding Rings
The mood in your apartment is set. Dim lighting, a few candles, roses, and the engagement ring is snug in its little box. The fear of her saying “no” is not half as bad as the fear she won’t like the ring you chose. This problem can be solved easier than you might think.
The reality is that very few men know what kind of rings to look at when shopping for an engagement ring. The salespeople are very little help, as they will only try to talk you into getting the most expensive ring in the store, to earn a handsome commission. Another reality is that all women are not into the big diamonds and pricey settings. Doing a little research online and in person at various jewelry stores before you buy will make your purchase much easier.
Set a budget. Deciding what you can afford to spend in advance will cut your search down quite a bit. Be upfront with what you can afford when talking to salespeople, so that your time and theirs is not wasted on viewing the most expensive rings and listening to unnecessary sales pitches.
Know her taste. Is she a lady that likes a huge stone and a luxury setting? Or is she more a petite type that thinks large stones a gaudy? Knowing how flashy your soon-to-be missus is will help eliminate time spent looking at rings you may be paying on all the way up to your first anniversary.
Diamond or other gemstone? Not all women want a diamond engagement ring. Some ladies prefer other gemstones such as emeralds or rubies. Make sure you know which she would prefer before shopping. If the engagement ring of her dreams is a sapphire, you would be way off with a traditional diamond.
Is she a princess or a marquee kind of girl? Knowing what style of stone cut will also be a needed tidbit of information. There are many ways to cut a stone, so make sure you have some idea of what type of cut she would like. The ‘old reliable’ is going to be round cut, but with so many options, it’s best you know for sure.
Surprise, surprise! Some grooms-to-be want the proposal to be a surprise. To see her face light up and tears roll down her cheeks when she opens the box is still a traditional proposal method. To get a good idea on what she would like, get a few color advertisements from local jewelry stores, and stuff them into the Sunday paper. While you are “leafing” through the paper to get out the Best Buy circular, make sure those ring ads fall out. Now all you have to do is make conversation about them such as, “Look at these pretty rings, Susan, there must be a sale at Johnson’s Jewelry.” Then toss them aside. Getting her to see the ads won’t be difficult, but don’t let on that you planted them. She will look at them, and make comments on the ones she likes. Take mental note, and don’t talk too much about the rings, or she will notice you’re gathering information.
Clarity and other things you may not realize. Jeweler’s price depends on clarity of the stone, what the stone is set in, and how it’s cut. First things first – clarity. Unless she’s a jeweler, she won’t have to have the stone with the highest level of clarity. The stones that are flawless cost the most, and unless your sweet bride-to-be packs a jewelers loupe (magnifying glass) in her pocketbook, you can go for a stone that’s got a lower level of clarity that cannot be seen with the naked eye.
Yellow gold, white gold, or platinum. Yellow gold and white gold are best for grooms on a budget. Yellow gold pays homage to tradition. However, white gold is the next best thing, and unless she is adamant that platinum is what she wants, you could get her a white gold setting. Platinum is very expensive and is the Rolls Royce of precious metals. If she remarks that she wants platinum, I suggest saving a while longer to purchase.
What size ring is she? You want her to be able to wear the ring immediately. This is where size does matter. If you don’t want her to know you are going to buy her a ring, play a silly game with her. If you have your high school class ring, comically play around with her and slip it on her hand. For example, if it fits her middle finger, then the jeweler can figure out approximately what size her ring finger might be by knowing what size your class ring is. If she already knows you are shopping for her ring, then come out and ask her what size she wears, or take her along for sizing.
Matching wedding bands. A lot of engagement rings can be used with any style wedding band. Some engagement rings are paired with a wedding band for her, and are purchased as a set. In most cases, there is a men’s ring that matches the set for her. However, some men have jobs that would ruin an expensive ring, and they shy away from the band that matches the bride’s set. If there is a reason you do not want the men’s ring that matches her set, stick to a band that is made from the same metal. If her set is white gold with yellow gold accents, the groom’s ring should at least be white gold, since that is the primary type of gold used in hers. Another solution is to go ahead and wear the fancy ring that matches hers while at home or out to dinner, and buy a less expensive plain ring for work.
Ring shopping can be overwhelming, and quite frankly, exhausting. There are as many styles, shapes, and prices for rings as there are women. How can you be sure you will get those tears of joy versus tears of a ring she didn’t like? Careful planning and checking out your options well ahead of time can ease your anxiety. The internet offers unbiased answers to your questions without the pushy sales tactics to further complicate your quest.
The decision to ask your sweetie to marry should be fun, exciting, and a memorable experience. Stay firm with what you want, when talking to salespeople. Make sure you appear to know what you’re talking about, and stick with your buying plan. That salesperson is not the one that has to pay for the ring, or present it to your fiancÃ?©e.
If all else fails, there are numerous reputable jewelers that offer online buying. If you decide to take the no pressure, online route, make sure you choose a company you know has a stellar reputation and is not a fly-by-night operation selling fake junk to pass as real. De Beers, Friedman’s and Zales are three great places to start.
