Positive Thinking Can Defeat Depression
A funny thing happened a few days ago. I was finishing up an article titled, “Your Crazy Quilt,” meaning, a crazy quilt belonging to you. I intended to use the possessive form. However, my spell checker tried valiantly to convince me to change what I had written to “You’re Crazy Quilt.” I laughed when I got the joke, but then I began to think about it. In my article, I encouraged readers to achieve a more positive mental state by choosing to think about a hopeful image, a skillfully crafted quilt that represented the unique beauty of their life. Would some say that this was crazy behavior? When we choose to focus on positive, hopeful imagery, are we merely fooling ourselves into denying reality and living in a dream world?
I contend that each of us, to a great extent, lives in a dream world. Part of the special nature of human beings is that we can imagine things. Imagination allows us try out experiences in our minds. We can consider possible consequences of our actions before actually committing them. We can imagine conversations. We can remember some events and anticipate others. We can visualize other places and other people, even when we are alone in our homes or at our workplaces.
In addition, our bodies respond to our mental processes in physical ways. If we think of something exciting or stressful, our respirations quicken and our hearts beat faster. We produce chemical substances that our bodies would need in order to respond to an actual threat or challenge. In the same way, if we think of things that are positive, hopeful, and enjoyable, our bodies respond to these images by relaxing and feeling good.
Often, we can’t control events that occur in our lives. Life is so amazingly intricate that, even if we retreat into hermit-like existences, we simply can’t foresee and avoid every possible threat or mistake. We must deal with the happenings in our day -to-day lives as we find them. Certainly, it is prudent to prepare for undesirable possibilities. We buy insurance to protect us in the event that we need medical care or car repairs. This is an intelligent, rational thing to do. However, if, after taking our driving lessons, buying an appropriate amount of insurance, and ascertaining that our vehicle is reliable and in good working order, we are unable to back out of the driveway because we know that a fatal accident is still within the realm of possibility, we have allowed our own fearful thoughts to capture and immobilize us.
Some things need to be dealt with. I am not advocating denial. I am suggesting that we can empower ourselves to control the way in which we choose to deal with those things. When my thoughts slide back to negative, self-punishing words and images, I can come to my own rescue by refusing to continue thinking that way. I can intentionally substitute encouraging and supportive thoughts for the negative, damaging ones. Many times, we are our harshest critics, holding ourselves to impossible standards of performance and perfection. When you discover that you are mentally berating or criticizing yourself, ask yourself, “Would I say that to my best friend?” Most of the time, the answer will be a resounding, “No! I love my friend. I would never say such hurtful things to him.” Then, don’t say them to yourself. Choose to be your own friend and coach. Peace and contentment will never be found through achieving perfection, because none of us is perfect. The Bible tells us that “all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23 NIV. All. Not most, not some, not just me or just you. All.
So, if perfection is impossible, how can we find peace? We find it through acceptance. Accept the person that you are, today, and love that person. Loving that person may mean coaching him or her to greater achievement and success, or it may mean simply enjoying him or her right now. It may mean giving yourself permission to grieve, or to enjoy living, in spite of someone else’s opinions. It does mean maintaining the mental image of yourself as a unique individual, created and loved by God, and deserving of love and acceptance. In his book, Unexpected Recoveries, Tom Monte states, “Healing depends on the ability to shift from the parts of us that are critical, angry, and self-wounding, to the parts of us that are loving, compassionate, and healing.” We all make mistakes. We all lose sometimes. However, that does not affect our fundamental personal value. We can be hurt, and we can be deeply wounded, and we can even make bad choices, but we are not ruined. Healing and hope are always possible. Choose to think kindly of yourself, and have a good day today.
Tom Monte, Unexpected Recoveries (New York:
St. Martin
‘s Press, 2005), p.12
