Prenatal Ultrasound Exams Linked to Autism, School Violence

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Ultrasound Exams in Early Pregnancy Linked to Autism, School Violence


Boston, MA:�¯�¿�½ Expectant mothers that have ultrasound examinations during the first 20 weeks of pregnancy are much more likely to have autistic children or children that will be prone to violence in their teenage years.

Jeremiah Wassah-Boolphrogg, PhD, Director of Exculpatory Evidence Research at the Ted Kennedy Automobile Buoyancy Evaluation Institute in Boston announced his startling findings during a news conference at the Institute yesterday afternoon.

Citing previously published data from a number clinical research studies, Dr. Wassah-Boolphrogg described how his team of scientists discovered this previously unnoticed relationship:

“We were having a working lunch one afternoon when, purely by accident, someone placed an overhead projection transparency that charted the yearly increase in the number of ultrasound exams on top of another transparency that graphed the increasing number of children diagnosed with the psychological criteria for either Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism.Ã?¯Ã?¿Ã?½ As you can imagine, we were shocked to learn that these graphs were identical” Dr. Wassah-Boolphrogg said.

“When we looked at the prenatal medical care received by mothers of children that became Ã?¯Ã?¿Ã?½school shooters,’ we discovered that in every case the shooters’ mothers had an ultrasound examination early in the course of their pregnancies.Ã?¯Ã?¿Ã?½ Without a single exception, none, not one!”

When asked how the incidents of school violence could possibly be related to a single event that had occurred years previously, Dr. Wassah-Boolphrogg presented what he termed “the socioeconomic model” of school violence.

“It is an undisputed fact that every school-aged child that used his classmates for target practice came from an upper middle-class Caucasian family unit.Ã?¯Ã?¿Ã?½ If you look at the children’s ages at the time of the shootings, and work back, you find that this social group was much more likely to have had an ultrasound exam in the early to mid 1980s than minority, non-Caucasian mothers” he said.

“This is conclusively proven by the complete absence of minority groups from the roster of children that committed acts of school violence.”

According to Dr. Wassah-Boolphrogg, this same socioeconomic model also reveals that, although minority children were notoriously under-represented in the subset of children with Autism-type symptoms, the numbers are definitely increasing and will soon reach numerical parity with other social and ethnic groups.

“This again directly correlates with the fact that as ultrasound exams became universally available the number of subsequent diagnoses increased as well.”

Speaking with reporters as he waited at a security checkpoint at New York City’s LaGuardia Airport Rev. Al Sharpton, president of the world-acclaimed Tawana Brawley Center for Honesty in Media Relations stated that he was “relieved to learn that minority women, particularly single mothers, were finally benefiting from inclusion into mainstream.”

When contacted at the national headquarters of the Chicago-based Rainbow Coalition Inc. its founder, Rev. Jessie Jackson issued a “no comment” statement after failing to find words that rhymed with “ultrasound,” “autism,” or “OB-GYN.”

Dr. Wassah-Boolphrogg concluded the press conference with the Federally-mandated “full disclosure statement” in which he informed those present that his research had been funded by a grant from the Colt, Remington, Smith, and Wesson Foundation.

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