Preparing Your Child for a Stay in the Hospital
First, parents should take into account the age and temperament of the child. Use language the child can understand to share as much age-appropriate information in as accurate a manner possible. You might explain what will happen chronologically and fill in the necessary details – “First we’ll pack your bags and have a nice, big dinner since you won’t be able to have breakfast in the morning.” Allow for a leisurely conversation and leave plenty of space to welcome questions.
Remember that children are very susceptible to misinformation and they may have heard people talk about the hospital, or know a grandparent or older adult who has passed away while at the hospital. They may also have heard other children talk and share comments about doctors and hospitals too. Encourage children to share what they “think” they know about a trip to the hospital so that you can share the truth and help to alleviate any secret fears they may harbor.
Avoid making jokes or trying to make light of the experience. It is a serious experience, even if they may be “just going in for tests.” The more calm, factual and sensitive adults are, the more likely a child is to feel prepared for the trip to the hospital.
If possible, make a tour or a visit in advance of the actual scheduled date. Children can tour the hospital, meet staff, and possibly ask questions directly prior to the day of. In addition to an actual “dry run,” doing some role playing around the pending visit can be very helpful. Take turns playing different roles and acting out the way things might go – this is a great way to involve other children and give a younger child a sense of understanding.
It is important to prepare other children in the family as well. They are likely to be just as nervous and scared as the child who is having the actual procedure done, so be sure to give them a chance to participate in the preparation and spend time alone with other children to talk over their concerns.
Books are another wonderful way to prepare children for the hospital. Going To The Hospital, by Fred Rogers (yes, Mr. Rogers) is a good resource, as are Do I Have To Go to the Hospital?: A First Look at Going to the Hospital, by Pat Thomas and Lesley Harker; and I Don’t Want to Go to Hospital (A Little Princess Story), by Tony Ross. It may help to make a book of your own, using drawings you make with your child to read as the date nears.
If the child is old enough to understand a calendar, keep one and mark off days as the time for the hospital stay approaches. Use language to measure time such as, ” After Sally’s soccer game, it will be Sunday when we go to Church. The next day we will take you to the hospital.” Give your child time to draw, talk, play or find other ways to process the pending hospital visit.
Include your child in preparing what he or she would like to take to the hospital – make sure to include any security items, pictures, special pajamas or other items that will add to the feeling of comfort and control. Even if your child is only going for outpatient surgery, pack a bag with items he will need, and items he would like and will help him feel more secure and connected.
Be sure to include information about how your child will feel, recovery time, and how her activity may be limited following the trip to the hospital. It is important to share as much information as is appropriate. Your child may think that when she comes home from the hospital, she will be “all better,” when, in fact, there might be a challenging recovery period.
Although you won’t be able to alleviate all your child’s fears and concerns about a hospital stay – especially if it will be painful or there is uncertainty about your child’s condition, but by being open, truthful and considerate of your child’s age and personality, you will be able to help prepare him for one of life’s challenges.
