President Obama Accused by PETA of ‘Pimping’ for Turkey Industry

COMMENTARY | Thanksgiving is drawing nigh and with it, PETA’s annual war on the holiday that features a lot of indulgence of turkey, stuffing, and other delightful confections. Oddly enough, President Obama is the object of their ire.

Noting the annual pardoning of the thanksgiving turkey, PETA accused the president of “pimping” for the turkey industry and offered a lurid description of how the wonderful, succulent animal is slaughtered for the table.

Leaving aside the racist implications of suggesting that the first African American president is a “pimp,” one has to once again wonder why being vegetarian can make people so cranky about people who prefer their food meaty. There is no organization, so far as is known, who favors forcing vegans to start chomping down on hamburgers and fried chicken.

If President Obama is feeling a little whimsical, he might emulate something Sarah Palin did five years ago. While she was being interviewed about Thanksgiving by a local, Alaska TV station, a farmer is seen in the background slaughtering a live turkey. Outrage and consternation ensued. Obama should follow her example and double down on it by replacing the pardoning of the turkey with the execution of the turkey.

The idea would be that the turkey that would grace the table of the first family should be brought out to the Rose Garden. After a speech condemning the turkey to death for the crime of being all so delicious, the president should turn to a farmer picked at random and say, “Do your duty” and then have the turkey slaughtered on live TV.

Then a mock funeral can be held in which the turkey is eulogized for dying so that the first family can eat, keeping in fond memory the first Thanksgiving held by our Pilgrim fathers and their Native American guests.

Take that, PETA.