President of TV Indecency Watchdog Group to Step Down

WASHINGTON – L. Brent Bozell, the conservative activist who launched thousands of indecency complaints against broadcasters, announced Friday that he would step down as president of the Parents Television Council. Osama bin Laden has been named as his replacement.

“Sure,” Bozell stated, “it seems like an usual choice, but as it turns out we’re on the same page on a lot of the issues.”
The PTC noted that Bin Laden has worked hard to fight against the decedent Western culture. “He’s a guy who gets it,” said L. Brent Bozell, who is very embarrassed by his first name. “He sees the immorality of our mass media, wants to prevent it’s spread and influence and he knows how to get the job done.” Bozell added that both he and bin Laden enjoy telling other people how to live their lives.

While stating that the PTC has worked hard, Bozell complained that there was still too much offensive content on TV. Bozell said his group has had a major effect since he founded it more than a decade ago. “Had we not been active, Lord knows where television would be today,” he said. “I’m convinced we would have full nudity by now, like those heathens in England.”

Once bin Laden is installed as president, the PTC will continue to file thousands of electronic complaints and petty protests with federal regulators and urge companies not to advertise on certain shows. They also hope to begin bombing shows they don’t like. “We’re very excited about that,” said a spokesman. “Why should the anti-abortionists have all the fun?”

The Parents Television Council began as an offshoot of Bozell’s Media Research Center, a Virginia-based group that monitors the media for what it sees as liberal bias. “It’s our desire to prevent liberals like Sumner Redstone, Jack Welch, Rupert Murdoch and those media titans from ruining our airwaves with smut and ideas.”

Mentioning Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction” during CBS’ telecast of the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show, Bozell stated, “If she had been wearing a burka that would have never occurred. Osama can help make that happen.” That and other incidents were used to press federal regulators to crack down on indecency and persuade Congress to increase maximum fines. In June, lawmakers voted to increase the maximum fine on TV and radio stations to $325,000, from $32,500, for each indecency violation. Under bin Laden they hope to add beheadings for serious offenders.