Rate of Seniors With AIDS on the Rise
That may surprise you. Older people are…well, they shouldn’t be having sex, that is…do they?
Indeed they do – a study done by the University of Chicago in 1994 proved that sexual desire does not necessarily fade after 50. Plenty of seniors are having sex, and plenty of seniors are becoming infected with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. Still, they don’t worry so much about the risk of AIDS, they say. The reasons they don’t worry are several, but the principal one seems to be that seniors simply are not aware of the truth.
Why not? For one reason, most warnings about HIV/AIDS are aimed at younger people. You may find posters in high school corridors, in birth control clinics, the workplace and even in libraries, but never in a nursing home, retirement facility or in the office of a geriatric physician. Few people connect the elderly with sex, and if they do, it may be with a faint feeling of disapproval or even disgust. It seems that no one under 20 years of age wants to think of their parents having sex, much less their grandparents or even great-grandparents! For many people, there seems to be something faintly repulsive about oldsters kissing, rubbing up against each other, going all the way.
Seniors themselves may mistake the symptoms of AIDS for the normal aches and pains that come with aging. If they ever are diagnosed with AIDS, the disease may already have advanced to the stage where treatment becomes ineffective. Symptoms of dementia may be related to AIDS without anyone knowing. An infection caused by pneumonia or herpes zoster may cloud the diagnosis.
Symptoms of HIV infection include:
o Recurring fever or night sweats
o Dry cough
o White spots or unexplained blemishes in the mouth, on the tongue, or in the throat
o Rapid weight loss
o Persistent fatigue
o Swollen glands in armpits, groin or neck
o Diarrhea for more than 7 days
o Pneumonia
o Blotches – pink, brown, red or purple – under or on the skin or nose or inside the mouth, nose or eyelids
o Memory problems, depression or other neurological disorders.
Another problem is that many doctors are reluctant to talk to older people about sex. They may feel uncomfortable “prying into the private lives” of seniors, or they may fear the patient will believe the doctor is accusing them of something. Few seniors, raised in more conservative times, will speak willingly about their sexual activity, if any. If they do, they are likely to reveal themselves to be trapped in the same archaic beliefs that have surrounded the subject for generations:
Myths surrounding seniors and sex include the beliefs that:
1. Old people simply aren’t able. They reached their peak soon after their teens and have been going downhill since. They are weak, sick or decrepit and don’t care any more.
2. They aren’t interested, or if they are interested, no one is interested in them.
3. If they do indulge, it’s with an old husband or an old wife in a monogamous relationship.
4. They are drug free, or, if they did a time or two indulge in drug use, they stopped so long ago that the threat is gone.
All that may have been true in the 1950s or 1960s, but now seniors are living longer and enjoying sex longer, thanks in part to erectile dysfunction drugs such as Viagra and its brothers. They are also living healthier lifestyles, which helps to maintain vigor into old age. They are interested, and they are interested in each other. Increasingly, older women are discovering the delights of being loved by younger men. Sex is alive and well in the Senior Group, which is good news all around.
What is life like for seniors with AIDS?
Consider the case of Alice Renwick. At 65, she believed she was at little or no risk for HIV. She was an infection control nurse in Detroit and knew all about using condoms to lower the risk. But then she met a man – a former heroin user – who had no problem attracting the ladies. After being together for five years, they stopped using condoms. For two years nothing happened, but then he was diagnosed with HIV. When he died Alice was devastated. Adding to her misery: the belief that she was probably infected as well. She had seen doctors over the years, for throat infections and other ailments symptomatic with HIV, but no doctor ever suggested she be tested. Eventually she pushed for the test and was found positive. She’s 80 now, and has been fighting the virus for the last 15 years.
Renwick blames herself – says she has “no one to blame…I was alone, depressed, ego deflated.”
Seniors with AIDS experience discrimination from friends and relatives. If they know, people often shun them, leaving them with no support system. For this reason, they may keep their affliction to themselves Isolation and loneliness may overwhelm them; they may become so despondent that they take their own lives. Help may be unavailable to them as social services and government agencies devote time and funding to the largest group of sufferers: those 40 and under.
A grim picture, but lightened by the promise of prevention. If you are a senior who has newly taken up an electrifying sexual relationship, or through the use of Viagra discovered sex anew, you need to be aware of the following facts:
1. Condoms are effective against AIDS.
2. It is critical that both partners be tested for HIV before becoming sexually active.
3. The only sure way to avoid AIDS is to practice abstinence.
4. Your risk can be lowered by avoiding sleeping with strangers, sharing needles or hanging around with people who share needles.
5. In the US, you can safely accept a blood transfusion.
6. Ask your doctor. They should be up-to-date on the newest treatments, methods of prevention, etc.
Sex is an important part of life. But it’s not worth dying for.
