Restrooms Equal Stress
One – I hate running into coworkers in the bathroom. Honestly, there is not a more awkward feeling to be had. There she is, your boss- standing at the sink fixing her hair/washing her hands/adjusting her pantyhose when you walk in. If you’re me, you momentarily freeze. And a couple of thoughts run into your head. Should you say hi? Start a conversation? Actually enter the stall and PEE? Should you pretend you just need to wash your hands? What is the appropriate thing to do?
Two- I suffer from stage fright. I don’t know why, but if I’m in the restroom and someone comes in – forget it. I’m not peeing. I can’t. It’s not that I don’t want to, because lets be honest – there are times when I really, REALLY need to pee. But if I hear the door open, and the shoes clickety clacking on the floor – I can’t go. This can be rather awkward because one of two things will happen. I will sit in the stall in pure silence waiting until that person leaves. Depending on what’s going on in the stall next to me, this could take awhile. And I worry that the other person is wondering if I’m dead in the stall. The other thing that could occur is that I’ll roll my eyes, give up and leave. That’s right, I’ll get up and go. Even if I have to pee baaad…if someone comes in, I’ve been known to just give up. There are even times when I’ve walked into a restroom, noticed other people in a stall and I’ve done the “Just need to wash my hands” bit and left. I can’t do it. In fact, at places where the toilet and sink are in the same room, I’ll turn on the water to drown out the sound of peeing. I can’t help it.
There are weird things that happen in restrooms. Today I was in a stall; silently waiting for the person next to me to just finish and leave so I could pee when I realized the person next to me kept flushing her toilet. She sat down, flushed. Sat some more, flushed. The entire time she sat there, she kept flushing. I had never witnessed the consta-flush like this before. I was intrigued, and totally annoyed. Finally she left and I could pee in private.
And the absolute worst thing has to be the person who comes in while you’re in the restroom begins to carry on a conversation with you while you pee. I don’t know HOW people do this. How do you sit down on a toilet and strike up a friendly conversation through a metal stall wall/door? I can’t do it. If you and I ever meet up in a restroom – just don’t talk to me. Ok?
I applaud men for being able to pee, standing up, pants unzipped, next to one another. My bladder would surely explode before I could ever partake in such a thing. I salute you.
