Rhode Island Congressman Patrick Kennedy is Lucky to Be Alive

I don’t want to write this article. There’s something about preying on the misfortune of others that is soâÂ?¦pathetic.

But I’m a pathetic dude; so here goes.

Representative Patrick Kennedy, one of only two congressmen from the great but small state of Rhode Island, was recently released from a rehab clinic. Kennedy had spent the past month there after getting totally wasted and crashing his car into a tree. Patrick Kennedy is truly lucky to be�a member of the United States Congress.

Because he is a member of the United States Congress (and more so because his last name is Kennedy, for that matter) he has gotten off with basically no repercussions (other than a smeared reputation, but Kennedy’s are taught to deal with that in public). If he had crashed his car as a normal member of society, he probably would have lost his job (they probably would have thrown him in jail for a spell). So, I don’t want to, but I just have to ask a question.

At this moment in time, does Patrick Kennedy deserve to have his job? Do we really want a drunken, tree crasher representing the fine people of Rhode Island? What if he relapses; I mean, just look at the statistics (and not even the Kennedy statistics). Relapses are almost inevitable. Most rehab places (and I’m talking about the really good ones) have a success rate around 15%. So, what does that mean?

Kicking drugs is hard, even (or more so) if you’re Kennedy. The Kennedy’s, by all accounts, have some pretty fucked up genetics (not too mention luck; but luck and genetics are pretty much the same thing). The Kennedy’s are a drinking people. Patrick’s dad is none other than Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy; the red faced fatty who was once a perennial Presidential candidate. On a side note, I’ve known a lot of drunks, real shitty alcoholics, and their faces are nowhere near as red as Senator Kennedy; it took a lot of time and a lot of booze to get his face that red, let me tell you.

But anyway, this is about Patrick Kennedy and the Irish blood runneth strong in the boy. Supposedly, it wasn’t just booze that Patrick Kennedy sucked down; it’s been alleged that Kennedy has had a taste for a myriad of different substances over the years (in that way, he’s a man of my own heart). But there is no defense for his standing as a Congressman and, in reality; he is not a man of my own heart. Patrick Kennedy should just step down.

He’s obviously not working because he needs the job; he could retire and really start hitting the bottle if he wanted. Apparently, as a Kennedy, he feels the need to do this out of some kind of social obligation.

Let me the first (or the hundredth) to say this. American doesn’t need any car crashing, drunken Irish Kennedy politicians; not anymore. You can all mosey to your local New England bar and leave us the fuck alone now, thanks.