Ridiculous Excuses for Not Exercising
1. I absolutely cannot exercise because:
-I have an I.Q. of 175, and it wouldn’t be fair to have brains and brawn
-I don’t want to look like Lara Flynn Boyle
-I don’t want to perpetuate a Hollywood stereotype that young girls have to live up to
-I want to look like a “real” man
2. I don’t have to exercise because:
-I’m already thin and if I exercise there won’t be anything left of me
-I have superior metabolism
-I only chew one tin of tobacco per day
-I already have lots of energy
3. My idea of “Warming Up” before a workout is to:
-Go lie under an electric blanket for 15 minutes
-Go sit in front of a fireplace with a good book for 15 minutes
-Go down to the local bar and order a “Boilermaker” and nurse it for 15 minutes
-Go into the kitchen and make a cup of hot chocolate topped off with marshmallows and 15 different kinds of cookies
4. My favorite weight-loss reality tv show is:
-The Biggest Loser
-Celebrity Fit Club
-Survivor
-The Simple Life starring Paris Hilton & Nicole Ritchie
5. I exercise everyday by:
-Walking 12 feet to my mailbox to retrieve the mail
-Skipping 3 blocks down to the local Dunkin’ Donuts
-Jumping up 2 times to use the bathroom during the commercial breaks on the six-o’clock news
-Twirling round and round in my swivel chair for 30 seconds
6. Organic Foods:
-Are made from the organs of humans and animals
-Make a person poop every 3 hours
-Are only eaten by people who have squirrels as pets
-Taste bland and are indigestible
7. The best fashion/exercise moment in history is:
-Richard Simmons sweatin’ to the oldies in Daisy-Duke short-shorts
-Jennifer Beals dancing like she’s never danced before in a torn sweatshirt in the movie, Flashdance
-Anna Nicole Smith prancing around in spandex shorts three sizes too small on her reality TV show, The Anna Nicole Show
-Olivia Newton-John sauntering around in the “Physical” video wearing a headband, leotard & leg warmers
8. I can’t afford to exercise because:
-the Air Jordan tennis shoes I need cost $150
-I have to pay for my kid’s college education in 18 years, so I have to start saving up NOW
-I am a member of a one-income family
-Let’s face it, Band-aids ain’t cheap
TRUE OR FALSE QUESTIONS:
9. All of the above answers are not only incredibly ridiculous but they are the worst excuses in the world for not exercising and eating properly?
A. True
B. False
10. Excuses will help you lose weight and support your family, mentally and financially, when you drop dead from coronary heart disease?
A. True
B. False
P.S. Tell me the worst excuse you have come up with to get out of exercising?
