Rubble

I have never met someone so buried as you
That I struggled to remember just what it is you looked liked
The weight has changed your features
Clear eyes now dulled down
Hair limp and un-managed
Body shrunken to protect itself from further harm

I have never met someone so buried as you

I wonder how long you cried for help
That others took as whimsical songs
I wonder how long you pleaded for air
To find the others holding back the tank that could save you
Because to them and their eyes
Being buried alive isn’t so bad
Because when they push back the rubble they see you smile
Then cover you up
And think to themselves that this is your home now
The weight of the world keeps you warm
They never think that your smile is one of relief
Because maybe they see you now and are willing to pull you out

Each rock that covers you has a name
Work
School
Family
Friends
Rent
Food
Utilities
Loans
Car Payments
Child care
Vacation
Recreation
Worry
The gamble of juggling all this and more
Till you miss one, then miss them all
And they bury you and break you and misshapen how you see the world
Because as friends and family stand by and do nothing, they have become
The worst of expectations
Cruel and manipulative and narcissistic and enabling
And your heart has harden
And no longer can you see the color of each day

I have never met someone so buried as you
And I want to push back the rubble, and give air and color and light
I want to rub the muscles of your body to relax
And hold you until you can hold yourself tall and straight
Like you did so long ago

But I can’t just yet
I can tell through your false smile and dulled eyes
That you’re not ready for my help
You don’t trust that the air I brought is for you
But that’s okay
I’ll wait and prove you wrong
I will wipe the dust away and clean the parts of the body you slowly expose

And in time, though you have changed
Though you have been molded with anger and grief and rage and loneliness
I hope to see you take those materials
And take the tools of love and trust and devotion and empathy
And create a heart that loves itself first
To never be buried again