Rules for Raising a Well-Behaved Child
Always make sure that you have your own set of established rules governing appropriate behavior. You will want to go over these often so that you and your child both understand what is to be expected. Always attempt to approach parenting with an understanding, patient and loving outlook as opposed to a vicious parent with unattainable expectations.
Allow your child to ask questions about your rules, and encourage them to tell you what they think each rule means in their own words. This will give you a good idea whether or not they are comprehending what you are asking of them.
Always reward your child for acting responsibly and respecting others. Verbal praise, giving hugs and kisses, allowing your child to stay up late and having friends over are all excellent ways to let your child know that you see all of their hard work and effort and are proud of them.
Carefully consider your child’s age and experience levels when giving responsibilities or expecting things of your child. Each child is different and will learn things differently and in their own time.
Make certain that your child understands the difference between right and wrong.
Make sure your child understands that he/she has the power to choose between his/her own actions as opposed to those of his/her friends. He/she does not have to do what everyone else does.
Encourage your child to tell an adult if they feel threatened by another child’s choice to do something, or if they feel it may be wrong or has the potential to hurt someone else.
Set an example for your child by acting responsibly and showing respect for others at all times. The best thing you can do is lead and teach by example. Children are very at tentative to what others do around them. Give them the most positive model to follow.
Communicate with your child. Explain what consequences may ensue if they are not acting appropriately.
Stick to your guns! If your child is acting inappropriately, be sure to carry out the disciple. Be sure that your child understands the consequences attached to breaking the rules or acting inappropriately.
Allow your child to participate in activities that will teach responsibility and respect for others. Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts and 4-H are all great programs.
Do not allow your child unsupervised freedom until your child has demonstrated responsibility when interacting with friends.
Be there for your child. Let your child know that he/she can come to you if they are confused or do not know what kind of behavior is right or acceptable. Never punish your child for not knowing the difference. Never make your child feel bad about himself/herself.
Encourage your child to invite friends over to your house in order to provide supervision in activities such as parties, studying, etc.
Encourage your child to participate in extra-curricular activities at school such as UIL, math club and team sports.
Discourage your child from participating in activities where others engage in inappropriate behaviors in order to win, have a good time, etc.
Attempt to have an open and honest relationship with your child. Encourage your child to tell the truth and do not use threats to make your child tell the truth.
When your child visits at a friends house, make sure that there will be another parent there to supervise.
Communicate your needs and values for your child’s behavior to other parents or adults who may be supervising or caring for your child. Ask them to let you know if there are any problems.
Separate your child from those children and adolescents who encourage your child to behave inappropriately.
If there are children who are a good influence on your child, encourage your child to become active in activities with that child, such as softball teams, soccer or more playdates.
Maintain trust and confidentiality with your child at all times.
As long as your child is friendly, polite, and cooperative, trust his/her instinct when choosing his/her own friends.
Talk with your child about individuals differences and discuss strengths and weaknesses of individuals your child knows
Make certain that teachers, baby-sitters and other adults who may be supervising your child, know that your child is easily influenced by others.
Increase supervision of your child if you are having a problem with his/her behavior.
Remove your child from others who may be contributing to his/her inappropriate behavior.
Make certain your child corrects any inappropriate behaviors. For example, if your child steals something, make sure your child returns the item along with apologizing.
It is important to make sure your child sees the correlation between bad behavior and consequences.
Always remember that communicating with your child in a loving, patient and understanding manner is the best way to get your point across. Children learn different things at different ages and in different ways. No matter what your strategy, you can effectively shape your child by being involved and being supportive.
