Second Wedding Etiquette: Myths and Facts

With the divorce rate on the rise it is likely that many men and women will remarry at one point during their life. In fact, this is something that is currently happening in my family. My parents have been divorced for a number of years now and my mother and her fiancÃ?©e are planning their wedding for this summer. One day in the middle of a conversation the phrase “is that proper?” came up. What is considered proper is a concern of many men and women who are getting married a second time.

Out of curiosity, I searched the internet looking for answers on the proper etiquette for second weddings. What I found was surprising. Many of the things that I perceived to be true about seconds weddings in fact were not. I am sure that I am not alone in believing many of the myths associated with second weddings; therefore, I decided to collect a number of those myths and share the truths behind them.

MYTH: Wedding announcements are tacky for second marriages.

TRUTH: There is nothing tacky about announcing your second marriage. Many couples announce their marriage to their family and friends before placing an announcement in the local newspaper. If you have children you may want to speak to them and your ex before publicly announcing your new wedding plans.

MYTH: Second weddings should not be formal gatherings.

TRUTH: A first, second, third, or even fourth wedding can be as casual or as formal as you want it to be. There is no rule or guideline on the type of ceremony that must occur.

MYTH: Second weddings should have a small number of guests.

TRUTH: As with the formality of the wedding, the number of guests you want to invite is completely up to you. As old friendships stand the test of time and new friendships grow it is likely that you will have some people present from your first wedding, but many new guests may be invited. If you wish to have a large wedding do so.

MYTH: Friends and family of your ex-spouse, themselves included, should not be invited to your second wedding.

TRUTH: As previously mentioned you can invite whoever you want to your second wedding. Many ex-wives, ex-husbands, and their friends or family members may feel uncomfortable at your wedding, so be sure to take this into consideration when extending the invite.

MYTH: Gifts should not be given at second weddings.

TRUTH: Even if you feel uncomfortable accepting gifts at your second wedding it will likely happen even if you request for it not to. There are many guests who just feel uncomfortable attending a wedding without brining along a wedding gift.

MYTH: Since gifts are poor etiquette you should not resister at a local store.

TRUTH: As previously mentioned, weddings gifts are not considered poor wedding etiquette. There are many guests who would bring a gift no matter what; therefore, why not at least make sure that it is something that you could use? Couples getting married for the second time should feel free to create a bridal or wedding gift list with a local store.

And perhaps the biggest myth of them all:

MYTH: A bride’s second wedding dress should not be white.

TRUTH: There are many individuals who believe this myth; but the truth is that there are not any written rules or guidelines on the wearing of white. There are many brides who do not feel comfortable wearing white and that is their decision, but if you are comfortable wearing white then go right ahead and wear it. In addition to white, many second brides wear pastel colored dresses.

The above mentioned second wedding myths are just a few of the many. If you are getting married you are urged to not take all second wedding etiquette tips that you hear seriously without properly researching them first. Why let your special day be ruined by a myth that isn’t even true?