See the Existential Flow of Life After a Break-Up
After a person you love chooses to leave you, moving on and letting go can seem like it is the hardest thing to do, as if you are Atlas being asked to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. The thing is everyone adjusts and moves on at their own speed in their own way. There is nothing wrong if it takes you weeks or months or years. It doesn’t matter when you move on or what you do, because life will continue moving forward whether you are ready for it or not. The trick is not to necessarily force yourself to move on.
The flow is always there and it is up to you to jump back into it when you are ready. It is always there, it is simply waiting for you to make the decision. The flow of life can consist of many different aspects and in its entirety encompasses the rhythm of life. Moving on can be taken in small steps until one morning you wake up and realize that the entire time you have been hurting you have been moving on. The first step is to realize that the flow is life, every part of you life from the way you think, to how you evaluate your feelings, to your work, and importantly your friends and family.
By being able to observe the flow without being “in it”, you will be able to look at your relationship and realize where things might have gone astray. Then you will be able to think of the future. In the future you can try to not make the same choices or draw the same conclusions. It allows you to look at both you and your ex and realize that both of you could have done things differently. It helps to prevent the feelings of bitterness and helps you prepare yourself for the next relationship. When you look at your relationship as a whole it can become overwhelming but by looking at it in small pieces you are able to compartmentalize individual instances. You will be able to see the trees instead of the forest and the problem and hurt won’t seem as consuming.
Perhaps the biggest fear after your relationship ends is the fear that you are losing “The One”. The fear of losing the one is one of the reasons why most people will hold on and continue fighting for the relationship. Yet if you are able to take a step back, allow yourself to step outside of the normal flow and think, can the fight be won or is it driven by the fear of loss. From the time you are little, you start believing that there is a type of love that will last forever. When you are lucky enough to find love, then that must mean the person you love is “The One”. Therefore, the biggest fear is that if you allow yourself to move on you are turning your back on your one true love. If they leave you, you think you may never find true love again.
The truth is for better or worse, you will find love and lose love many times throughout your life. But, you will find love again. It is there, it is waiting. The worst thing for you to do is abandon the hope of finding love, to refuse to jump back in.
Love is elusive and hard to understand. If the person you felt was “The One” is no longer in your life then more than likely they were not the one. That means someone is still out there searching for you as well. Do not give up on love because you will find it again.
