Sex Too Soon

For ladies, meeting someone new is, for lack of a better word, refreshing. Isn’t it? Whether you’ve been on the dating scene for a while with very little luck, or you’ve been in hiding for months, recovering from last season’s broken heart, the thrill of meeting someone who could potentially be “the one” is, again, refreshing. Some of us start naming the kids before he can finish introducing himself. Then you introduce yourself. The two of you exchance numbers. He calls, asks you out. You say, “I’ll be ready at seven.” Sounds easy enough.

Date Night. He picks you up, pays for dinner and a movie, and asks if he can come in when he gets back to your place. Okay, ladies, here is where some serious decision-making comes into play. There’s no crime in inviting a guy in or going back to his place. The problem is that most guys want to be alone with you to see if you’re willing to have sex them.

Here’s the clencher, though. Many times, they don’t really want to date a girl who is willing to have sex with a guy that she has just met. Of course, they don’t tell us that because if you are willing, they are not going to stop and tell you that it was just a test and you failed. Knowing that he will not want to date you in the future, a guy will allow you to proceed and just ignore you from tomorrow on.

The truth is that there is just something that is so respectable and commendable about a lady, particularly in these sexcapading times, who is willing to hold fast to the belief that her body is precious and worth much more than dinner and a movie. And believing it is totally different than putting the belief into practice.

These guys are like car salesmen. If you’ve ever purchased a car, you know what I’m talking about. They bring you in, offer you something to drink, call you by your first name, and just yuck it up with you like the two played together when you were in diapers. Feeling comfortable, you think that you have a bond with this gentleman, purchase a car from him, and go home. Then the car starts to fall apart a week later. In that short week, he’s forgot your first name. You go back and he’s calling you Mrs. XYZ and ma’am. What happened to ‘Joan’?

It’s the same thing with a lot of the guys who are trying to get you into bed. They’ll say anything. And people who are untrustworthy generally don’t trust others. So when you tell him that you don’t usually have sex on the first date, he tells you that he believes you because he believes that it’s all apart of a little game that he thinks the two of you are playing. Can you really blame him?

Sometimes early sex is just what people need to kickstart a relationship, but this is the exception. The rule is that nothing tanks a potential relationship faster than early sex. Guys love “easy” girls, but they fall in love with good girls.

So how long should you make him wait? Well, that’s up to you. If you’re not interested in a relationship, just do it when you meet him. Skip the formalities. But if you’re not looking for casual sex, give him a chance to get to know you. And give yourself a chance to get to know him. Connect on all other levels before connecting physically.

Don’t let him guilt you into having sex. Don’t have sex to pacify him. In these situations, you’ll often feel guilty and unsatisfied afterwards. Despite what he may tell you in his sales pitch, sex is a big deal. And you are worth the wait.