Sexuality on the Outside Looking in

Society seems not to like change and it doesn’t embrace change or individuality. Society seems to like people who look the same, feel the same, and act the same as everyone else. In short, our society enjoys a ‘cookie cutter’ environment and culture. One sticky topic to talk about in our society is sexuality, especially homosexuality. It seems that people love to talk about sex as long as it is heterosexuality. As soon as the discussion turns to homosexuality, it seems that either people say nothing or are very negative towards the topic of homosexuality.

The purpose of this paper is to show how society deals with homosexuals in terms of how they are treated in society. In addition, I will show how homosexuals are treated in the media and how they are marginally accepted in society. Finally, I will attempt to show how we can easily look at homosexuals and homosexuality in a positive way in our society through television.

According to Richard Mohr, two out every five men have sex with men and every second family in the world has a member in it that is homosexual. Therefore, who are homosexuals? It stands to reason than those homosexuals could include your family, friends, and the baker at the local bakery, your doctor, and your sibling. Homosexuals are in all walks of life yet they are not known. Therefore, society seems not to be knowledgeable about the lives and the experiences of gays. In addition, the social attitudes and actions of society towards gays have a greater negative impact on society than we think it does (Mohr 22).

Mohr also claims that just because people are ignorant about the lives and experiences of gays, it doesn’t mean that it stops them from having very strong opinions about gays. Ignorance will be filled with stereotypes about gays. According to Mohr, Society holds two types of stereotypes regarding gays. The first stereotype involves an individual’s gender identity: Lesbians are women who want to be, or at minimum, look and act like men. Lesbians might be called butch. Gay men are thought to want to at least look and act like women. Gay men are sometimes called queens and fairies (Mohr 22).

Another stereotype that gays and lesbians have had to deal with is they are a threat to the fabric of our society. According to Mohr, gays are seen as sex-crazed maniacs. The feeling is that homosexuals will destroy the family unit and therefore, society itself (Mohr 23). But, society must ask itself, what makes a family? It seems that society is frightened by homosexuality because it doesn’t know what to think about it or do about it. Therefore, society seems to react by talking negatively about homosexuality. Being afraid of homosexuality can lead to homophobia.

Society talking negatively against homosexuals is one way to that it deals with homophobia. Another way that society deals with homophobia is pretending that homosexuals are invisible or society asks that homosexuals pass for heterosexuals. Ralph Ellison talks about invisibility.
“I am an invisible manâÂ?¦ I am invisible understand simply because people refuse to see meâÂ?¦ (Qtd in Segrest 48). Ellison was talking about his experience as a black man but the discussion about invisibility also works for homophobia.
Segrest talks about being asked to pass as a heterosexual.
“When I am in ‘the community’, the message is don’t bring that mess. Asking me to pass as heterosexual and not to call myself a dyke is a demand for self hatred” (Segrest 163).

But, we have to ask how homophobia comes into being? According to Harper, homophobia probably comes from heterosexuals fear and anxiety about there own sexuality. It seems likely that heterosexuals might have homosexual desires in their own minds. The homophobic person by doing homophobic activities is attempting to assert his masculinity by subconsciously saying that being gay is sick and he isn’t sick. Harper also claims that this homophobic activity represents the homophobe’s self hatred and his hostility at something that is inside of himself (Harper 64).

Homophobia is very prevalent in the media. For the most part, homosexuality has being portrayed negatively in movies and on television. Let’s discuss the movie In and Out.

Homophobia is alive and well in the movie In and Out. Kevin Kline played English teacher Howard Brackett in a small town in Indiana. One night during the Academy Awards telecast, a former student who is now famous announces to everyone that Howard is gay. Howard is mortified by this accusation and tries to prove that he isn’t gay because he is about to get married in a few days (In and Out).

After the town hears this announcement, Howard starts getting questions about his sexuality. In fact, that is all the town talks about and to make matters worse the media comes to town to question Howard about his sexuality. Because of this, Howard begins to question his sexuality and believes that he is gay and doesn’t get married. The townspeople get very concerned and the principal fires Howard from his job. At the end of the movie, all of his students accept his sexuality; therefore, Howard gets his job back. However, some of the townspeople don’t accept his sexuality (In and Out).

Homophobia is apparent in this movie because Howard Brackett at first absolutely denies that he is gay by doing things that are considered masculine. Howard’s homophobia seems to come from the fact that he had anxiety and fear about his sexuality. Also, it seems that he has a homosexual tendency in his mind. In addition, the community of Greenleaf Indiana seems to be homophobic because they are concerned that their community may fall apart. In short, they are concerned that society will fall apart. Also, the community might have thought that Howard, if he were gay, secretly wished to at least act like a woman or that he would become a person who craved sex. In and Out isn’t the only show that depicts homophobia in the media. Let’s discuss the story behind the television show Bewitched.

The television show Bewitched told the story of Samantha and Darrin Stephens who were married. The twist in this story was that Samantha was a witch and she couldn’t tell most people who she really was, except for her husband. Therefore, she had to attempt to ‘pass’ as a mortal (Bewitched). The show was very timely because many people could relate to having to ‘pass’ as someone they were not. Homosexuals had to try to ‘pass’ as heterosexuals in order to fit into society, just like Samantha has to try to ‘pass’ as a mortal in order to live in the mortal world.

While, Bewitched told the story of a witch trying to ‘pass’ as mortal, the behind the scenes story of Bewitched seemed to tell the story of some actors attempting to keep some secrets of their own. In particular, according the True Hollywood Story of Bewitched, two actors on the show were gay however, people on the set kept quiet about it. Dick Sergeant, who played the second Darrin and Paul Lynne were gay but kept quiet about it so they could work in Hollywood. They were afraid that they would be fired and wouldn’t be able to get work if it were discovered that they were gay. In fact, Dick Sergeant claimed that he made a phony ex wife in his biography in order to remain working as an actor. In addition, it was understood that Paul Lynne was also gay, but people looked the other way (THS: Bewitched).

In seems, in this case that the Hollywood community had a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell policy when it came to dealing with homosexuality. It seems that the Hollywood community was so homophobic that it treated homosexuals as if they didn’t exist. In other words, homosexuals were invisible. In this case, invisible means people refuse to see you. In addition, homophobia taught homosexuals to hate themselves, as this case illustrates.

Now society may wish to ask how it could stop or curtail homophobia. One of the ways that homophobia could be curtailed is for people to realize that they are homophobic. According to Cooper Thompson, when he realized that he was homophobic, he also realized that he was very afraid. Homophobia made him afraid of gay men’s sexuality. Thompson also claimed that he was also confused because he wished to have close relationships with men without the sexual intimacy (Thompson 237). Therefore, it seems as if the first step toward ending homophobia is to acknowledge that for the most part society is homophobic. After all, change is impossible without first acknowledging that perhaps fear of the unknown drives the problem of homophobia.

Thompson also believes that society is extremely hurt by homophobia. This is because the fear of being perceived as homosexual has prevented us from being intimate with same sex friends. The same fear of being perceived as homosexual could lock society into a rigid view of what is masculine and what is feminine. Homophobia can also destroy our families when we find that we can’t accept a family member who is a lesbian or is gay (Thompson 239).

It seems that because of homophobia society does have a rigid view of what is masculine and what is feminine, especially when it comes to professions. For example, when people hear that a man is a dancer or a fashion designer, they assume that he is gay. However, people seem to accept that some male dancers and some male fashion designers are gay. In addition, it does seem true that homophobia can destroy a family if at least one of its members can’t accept that there is a homosexual is the family. In fact, television has explored how homophobia can almost destroy a family without the acceptance of a family member’s sexuality and also how ultimately the love of a family member overrides and curtails homophobia. Golden Girls was a television show that discussed the topic of homophobia within a family.

The Golden Girls pushed the envelope by discussing sensitive and poignant issues. Two episodes discussed gay issues and both of these episodes involved Blanche and her brother Clayton.

In the first episode called “Scared Straight”, Blanche has to come to terms with the fact that her brother is gay. At first, Clayton can’t tell Blanche the truth about his sexuality, so, he tells her that he slept with Rose. But, after he tells her the truth, Blanche can’t come to grips with the fact that her brother is gay and tries to convince him that he isn’t gay. She complains that he used to date women and if he found the right one, he wouldn’t want to be gay. Clayton tells Blanche that she saw and thought what she wanted to instead of what was in front of her. At the end of the episode, Blanche seems to deal better with her brother’s sexuality and everyone goes out to dinner (Golden Girls, “Scared Straight.”).

In another episode called “Strange Bedfellows”, Clayton comes back to visit Blanche and he brings with his partner Doug who he is going to marry. Blanche is very angry and confused and she says that she accepts that fact that Clayton is gay, but she can’t understand why he has to date men. Then, Dorothy says to Blanche “You really haven’t grasped this whole homosexual thing, have you.” Later, Blanche and Clayton get into a fight and he tells her that if she can’t accept Doug as part of his family, then she doesn’t have to be a part of his family. After much thought, Blanche realizes that Clayton has a right to love who he chooses and she loves Clayton. So, she tells Clayton that she still doesn’t understand what he is doing, but she respects his choice (Golden Girls, “Strange Bedfellows”).

Blanche is homophobic because she couldn’t accept her brother’s sexuality. It seems that her homophobia comes from the fact that she was brought up in the South where there seem to be very rigid views on what is masculine and what is feminine. In addition, since Blanche is completely self absorbed, she probably felt that her brother’s sexuality would be a bad reflection on her.

A good way to attempt to end homophobia is to discuss the specific topic of homophobia and also to discuss the topic of homosexuality in general. In addition, talking more about sex and sexuality might help to end homophobia because the more society talks about all of the topics that relate to sex, the less it will feat about discussing and dealing with homosexuality in a positive way. The Golden Girls seems to discuss homosexuality in a funny and non combative way.

It is apparent that television has shown homosexuality in a more positive light. In recent years, one of the television shows that have portrayed gays in a positive light is Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. This show involves five gay guys making over heterosexual men.

The main people on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy are Carson, Ted, Jai, Tom, and Kyan, who are gay. But, the show doesn’t focus on the five guy’s sexuality. It focuses on five guys trying to make the lives of straight guys better by teaching these guys more about fashion, interior design, culture, grooming, and food and wine in an entertaining and educational way (Queer Eye for the Straight Guy).

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy might help to stop homophobia because it shows men who are leading a regular life and don’t fit society’s stereotype as sex crazed maniacs. Also, the show doesn’t focus on the lives of five gay men. It focuses on a group of people helping another person become a better human being. In fact, many straight on the show have claimed that because of experiencing the “fab five”, their view of homosexuality has changed for the better. If heterosexuals on the show could change their views of homosexuality in a positive way, then, it seems that this show has made good strides in changing society’s view of homosexuality, thereby getting rid of homophobia.

Another television show that has shown gays in a positive way is Project Runway. Project Runway is a show that selects the next great fashion designer. The show is positive for gays because it only focuses on challenging the contestants to make great clothes and then the judging of their designs. The only episode in which sexual orientation was mentioned involved the episode called “Flower Power.” In this episode, the contestants had to design a dress out of plants and flowers. While designing their dresses in the workroom, some of the guys were talking about just coming out to their families. In addition, one of the girls claimed that one of her biggest fears is dating a guy who turns out to be gay (Project Runway). In this case, this show could help to stop homophobia because it shows that there is a dialogue going on about homosexuality and that people are interested in fashion and not the sexual orientation of the contestants.

Society seems not to like change. In addition, society seems too opposed to individuality as far as sex and sexuality is concerned. Society seems to enjoy people who are the same as everybody else. It also seems to love talking about sex and sexuality as long as the discussion concerns heterosexuality. When it comes to homosexuality, society appears to want to treat it as if it doesn’t exist or talk about it in a negative fashion. Nowhere has homosexuality been viewed more negatively than in the media.

The purpose of this paper was to examine how society treats gays and lesbians in society. It also discussed how society deals with homosexuality in general and in particular through the medium of television. Finally, the paper explored ways in which society could view homosexuality in a more positive light by changing its attitude toward it; the paper attempted to show how through the medium of television society seems to be moving forward to a more positive view of gays and lesbians.

Works Cited
Bewitched. Dir. William Asher, 1963-1972.
Golden Girls. “Sacred Straight”, NBC, 1988.
Golden Girls. “Strange Bedfellows”, NBC, 1988.
Gomez, Jewelle. “Black Lesbians: Passing, Stereotypes, and Transformation”, in Dangerous Liaisons: Blacks, Gays, and the Struggle for Equality. Ed. Eric Brandt. New York: The New Press, 1990. 161-177.
Harper, Phillip, Brian. “Racism and Homophobia as a Reflection on their Perpetrators” in Homophobia: How we all pay the Price. Ed: Warren J. Blumenfield. Boston: Beacon Press, 1997. 57-66.
Mohr, Richard. Gays/Justice: A Study of Ethics, Society, and Law. : New York: Columbia University Press. 1988.
Project Runway, “Flower Power”, Bravo, February, 22, 2006.
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. , Bravo, 2003.
Segrest, Mab. “Race and the Invisible Dyke.” in Dangerous Liaisons: Blacks, Gays, and the Struggle for Equality. Ed. Eric Brandt. New York: The New Press, 1990. 45-55.
Thompson, Cooper. “On being Heterosexual in a Homophobic World”, in Homophobia: How we all pay the Price. Ed: Warren J. Blumenfield. Boston: Beacon Press, 1997. 235.248.
True Hollywood Story: Bewitched, Entertainment Television, 2002.