Sick Sad Week: The Hurricane Katrina Heroics of George Bush, Joe Scarborough’s Search for Something to Believe In, and the Truth About the Science Textbook Lobby
With the elections looming near, the last thing Republicans want are reminders of Hurricane Katrina. Doubtless they would have been more than happy to have had the ability to completely ignore the first anniversary of the Hurricane Katrina debacle. The best description that anyone has ever used to describe Pres. Bush’s response to Hurricane Katrina is incompetent, but we all know that’s really giving him far more credit than he deserves. Not sure why anyone was surprised that Pres. Bush didn’t know how to respond to a natural disaster of the proportion of Hurricane Katrina; anyone looking over his handling of his war in Iraq could have seen that one walking down Fifth Avenue. At any rate, Bush was forced to confront the anniversary and somehow managed to fine the one Hurricane Katrina in America willing to face a camera and praise Bush’s response. That should have been enough to tip off anyone with half a brain, but of course it wasn’t.
The “liberal media” showed Bush survivor-er, I mean Katrina survivor-Rockey Vaccarella effusively thanking Pres. Bush for his masterful response to the disaster. He then went on to effectively blame the local authorities for not responding after the hurricane struck. And then he finished up by saying it was too bad that Pres. Bush couldn’t have a third term. Despite the fact that these sentiments were coming from a Katrina victim, the “liberal media” didn’t think to ask who this Rockey guy was whose opinions run directly counter to the overwhelming opinion of most Katrina victims that Bush had botched the job. Well, this too-good-to-be-true story for the Bush turns out to be, okay, half-true. Yes, Rockey Vaccarella was a Katrina victim. But what the networks didn’t tell you until their hand was forced was that Rockey is not only a diehard Republican, but once ran for office as a Republican. In other words, he’s yet another GOP politician like John McCain whose lips are stained with the feces that Ann Coulter neglects to wipe off the butt of Pres. Bush.
Does Joe Scarborough Even Know The Word “Conviction” Has Another Meaning?
Joe Scarborough used his television show on MSNBC to ask if George Bush is an idiot. Wow, what a maverick Republican that Joe Scarborough is. He waited until 70% of Americans would respond with an overwhelming yes to that query before daring to ask it. Big surprise. You know how Pres. Bush and Dick Cheney go after Democrats who voted for their war based on the phony evidence they supplied, but who now call it a mistake by saying they flip-flop? Well, there is no bigger flip-flopper in the world of politics than beady-eyed weasel Joe Scarborough. I ought to know; he was sadly elected to Congress from the district in which I live.
Joe Scarborough’s lasting legacy is jumping on and off bandwagons. He was swept into Congress as part of the 1994 Newt Gingrich Contract on America revolution. As soon as he realized that none of that crap was going to work, he jumped ship. He said it was so he could spend more time raising his kids. He immediately began practicing law-long considered one of the least time-consuming occupations around-and not long thereafter he signed a contract with MSNBC. Joe Scarborough opines about the liberal celebrities in Hollywood having too much influence in America. How many times has his MSBNC show discussed Paris Hilton? Just how much air time does Scarborough commit to the very same celebrities he whines about having too much air time? Joe Scarborough is the conductor of the caboose on the gravy train and when all the gravy sloshes out of the train as it starts to head uphill, he reaches over and tries to locate the pin through his beady little weasel eyes and he pulls it out so that it appears as though he is the one leading the charge in the opposite direction.
Joe Scarborough has done some incredibly distasteful things in his life-taking money from Jack Abramoff but denying that he ever really knew the man (hey, when someone is giving you money, it’s not polite to ask any questions) and voting against raising the minimum wage to a whopping $5.15 are just two of them-but perhaps the central event of Scarborough’s career that defines him more than any other was his attempt to defend Michael Griffin. Because his experience was in civil law and not criminal law, the judge wouldn’t allow him to actually defend Griffin, but he still assisted in his defense behind the scenes. What did Michael Griffin do? He killed a doctor who performs abortions. What’s the big deal? Joe Scarborough is defiantly pro-life. Well, Joe Scarborough is defiantly pro-life as long as the life we’re talking about doesn’t perform abortions. Then I guess it’s safe to say he’s defiantly he’s pro-murder. Well, whether pro-life or pro-murder, there’s definitely one thing Joe Scarborough is. Flexible; willing and able to change convictions at a moment’s notice.
If You Look Closely You Can See Prentice Hall Himself Lurking In The Grassy Knoll
Just in case you remained under the delusion that the school textbook lobby doesn’t flex considerable muscle following their successful coup to have science books rewritten so that Pluto is no longer listed as a planet, you should know that it doesn’t end there. 2500 scientists descended on Prague-reportedly spending enough money on Czech hookers to have built a planetarium in every school district in California-to debate the single most pressing issue facing astronomy today. No, not to figure out how to build an early warning system for meteors that could potentially strike earth and end life as we know; rather they met to decide whether or not Pluto should remain a planet. Less publicized was the meeting of 3300 mathematicians in Sofia to decide that the name of the symbol ÃÂ? should be changed from pi to cake. Also not receiving much publicity was the 5200 librarians who met in Ankara to change the definition of a person, place or thing from “noun” to “Otis.” And get this-not even the considerable investigative skills of Katie Couric could uncover the true story behind all these mysterious meetings: that nearly 1.8b dollars was spent by the school textbook lobby wining and dining and buying the entire Star Trek franchise on DVD for these esteemed scientists, mathematicians and librarians.
Maybe The GOP Can Figure Out Who Jack the Ripper Was Next
Remember that whole British terror plot that was supposed to be just days away at most from taking place? And how it had all the fingerprints of Al-Qaeda on it? Well, with each passing day it appears that the plot looks to be closer and closer to that less-than-organized Miami plot to blow up Chicago than to 9/11. And this instant finger-pointing at Al-Qaeda every single time there is a plot involving Muslims is only going to backfire on America just like this idea that getting rid of Saddam Hussein would stabilize the Middle East and make Americans safer has backfired. Just remember this: More Americans have died in Iraq since Saddam was toppled than died in Iraq during the entire Clinton administration. The GOP still manages to convince a slight majority of voters-though it still works out to a hell of a lot of imbeciles-that they are best at protecting you from terrorism. (Never mind that they had a full nine months-enough time to copulate, gestate and give birth to a baby-to figure out that the single most complicated terror plot in US history was going on under their noses and they came up with squat.) So they build up what is appearing to be nothing more than a barely formulated plot to somehow blow up planes using shampoo bottles by a bunch of guys who didn’t even possess the passport necessary to legally board an international flight into this proof that they are protecting us. Only Bush, Cheney and Rumsfailed would have the balls or gall or whatever it is you need to take credit for something the British police did that wasn’t even anything worth taking much credit for and trying to convince voters that it was evidence of their ability to protect the country better than the Democrats.
And Now The News You Didn’t Hear
Karl Rove has still not come forward to deny having a three-way with Laura Bush and Ann Coulter. Why? What does it mean when the single most important advisor to not only the President of the United States, but the entire Republican Party, refuses to come forward and deny having a three way with the First Lady of the United States, and the last woman in the United States that any man in his right mind would want to touch?
