Simple Steps and Tips for Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

Writing your own wedding vows is a wonderful way to make your wedding truly unique to you. Nobody else will have the same wedding vows.

The process of writing your wedding vows can remind you of why you love this person. You can also grow to love them even more as you go through the writing process. This only makes sense. As you write your vows, you should be thinking about what it is about this person that you love so much. The more you think about it, the more you will come up with.

With all the time that is spent planning the wedding, don’t forget that the vows are the reason that we are all there. Even if your wedding is on a tight budget, with the right vows, people will come away remembering what a beautiful wedding you had, regardless of whatever else happens.

Where Do I Start Writing Vows?

Start by making lists. Make lots of lists. Some examples of lists you should be making are:
What do I love about this person? (appearance, personality, character, quirks…)
How will being with this person make my life better?
What do I want for our future together?
How has knowing with this person made me a better person?

Once you have your lists, pick four or five of your top items and put those on your master list. The master list should contain everything you want to be sure to include in your vows. Once you have the master list completed, all that is left to do is to make complete sentences and arrange them so they flow.

Take Your Time

Don’t wait until the last minute to start writing your vows. You should start making your lists and thinking about what you want to say as soon as possible after getting engaged.
Leaving the vows until the last minute can not only add to your wedding stress but can leave you wishing you had said something that you forgot to say.

Add to your lists often. While you are spending time with your finance, be aware of him/her. Watch for those little things that you find so endearing. You will want to have a combination of the big things and the little things in your final draft.

Revise your vows often. Don’t rush yourself, make sure you have them just the way you want them. Wedding Vows are something you will only get to do once.

Speak From The Heart

Don’t worry about what other people will think. Say what you mean and mean what you say. If you worry too much about what your parents or friends will think about what you are saying, your vows will not be sincere. If you speak from your heart, people will think it is beautiful. You won’t look silly.

It’s okay to ask your friends to help you ensure that what you are trying to say comes across and to help you arrange your words so that they flow. But make sure that the words come from you. Only you can say what you love about this person. Someone else cannot express your love, you are the one that is in love with this person, not your friends.

Arranging Your Words

1. You may want to start by talking about your relationship. Have there been any particularly memorable events? Have you faced any challenges or obstacles as a couple? When did you first realize that you loved this person?

2. Next you may want to talk about some of the things that you love about this person. Include a mix of big things like what you love about your finance’s personality and small things like little endearing quirks.

3. This would be a good place to talk about what you want for the two of you as a couple. What do you look forward to? What do you want to be doing in 20 years? (Hopefully the two of you have the same goals and dreams but that’s another subject.) This is not the place to spring on your soon to be spouse that you don’t want children or that you want 10 kids, don’t include any plans for the future that the two of you have not discussed, this could create a problem.

4. A good way to end your vows would be to talk a little bit about what being married to this person means to you, how you will be a team, or how being married to this person will make you a better person. (Go back to the list here.)

5. Don’t forget to say “I love you.”

Other Things To Keep In Mind

Use your finance’s name as much as possible without interrupting the flow of your words. The purpose of writing your own vows is to make your wedding more personal about you as a couple. What’s more personal than a name? Ideally your finance’s name should be the first and last word of your vows at least.

Memorize your vows. It’s a good idea to have note cards to refresh your memory but you don’t want to read from the cards. You want to look your future spouse in the eye. You can’t do that if you are reading.

Enjoy the moment. This is one of those moments that you will remember fondly.