Steroids, Athletes and Capitalism: Perfect Together

Personally, what I can’t believe is the big American uproar over this situation. First off, once you start looking at before-and-after pictures for many of these players, these “leaked admissions” are as revelatory as Michael Jackson holding a press conference to announce he’s had a plastic surgery or two. The way some of these guys look, you have to know there’s a little bit more than a Total Gym workout going on. So I have issue with anyone putting on a look of shock and awe over this “discovery”.

So the next issue becomes, why is there all of this moral outrage? This is what the USA is about people. For a country that spent 235 billion dollars on prescription drugs in 2004 alone, you’d think we’d be a little more understanding. Performance enhancing drugs are as American as theft and apple pie. “Enhance” and “”Performance” are arguably the two biggest marketing keywords for just about any product that is sold to a consumer. When I pop “enhanced performance” into my trusty search engine, I get 24, 600, 000 entries. And very few of these have to do with the mostly underground trafficking of steroids. Ultimately isn’t the premise of the American Dream predicated on enhancing one’s performance? Don’t ask how – Just Do It. Isn’t the bottom line all that matters in an ends-justify-the-means capitalist society?

So before we single out athletes, we should examine the rest of the American landscape. Isn’t the US, despite the negative side effects, trying to ingest (err, I mean democratize) Iraq to enhance its own financial performance? Viagra and Levitra are pretty popular, but we don’t ostracize old men who artificially enhance their productivity – granted homeruns in the bedroom are infinitely more important than homeruns on the baseball diamond. How about Mickey D’s, Phillip Morris, Coca-Cola? It seems many of our most successful companies use drugs to enhance their product, and as a reward Americans make them the most powerful brands in the world. We buy into what they represent the same way we do our very well compensated athletes. Will you really be that surprised to find out in twenty years that Lebron James and Michael Vick were created in a laboratory?

Now I know what you’re saying. (Well I don’t really, but if I rub this “clear&creme” into my scalp I can prognosticate at a superior level.) You’re saying steroids are exceptionally bad. You might get nipples, you might lose nipples; you might get a deeper voice, you might get a higher voice; you might develop a strong desire to bring your family on Jerry Springer. It’s horrible. But that doesn’t mean we need to eliminate the product. It simply means we need to perfect it. We need better drugs with less side effects.

Now another major touchpoint for our steroid moralists are the children. Oh the poor, poor children. I’ve heard more than a few of these old announcers/analysts/critics get on their pedestal and say, “it’s not about the athletes taking the drugs, it’s about the example they set for the children.” Bleh. Children don’t idolize these athletes because of their big muscles. That is an effect of their idolatry, not a cause. No, children idolize athletes because we empower them. Children are just looking to figure things out. Of course they act like they know what they want, that’s part of the charm, but they learn by observing the world around them. As we all do. As we all did. And what they learn is that hitting homeruns and running fast are very simple formulas for success and empowerment. Perhaps we should consider the possibility that many of these children are going to the stores actually looking for jerseys of their biology teachers, but they have to settle for Kobe Bryant.

So don’t take it out on athletes because we pay more for someone to hit a ball than teaching our children how to think. If you are getting angry at the steroid problem, take a long look in the mirror. We are all guilty of being champions for greatness over goodness.

Alex Rodriguez received a contract for a quarter of a billion dollars. For that amount of money, one would be more stupid than immoral to not use all the resources available to acquire that level of empowerment. If we empowered teachers in the same way, I bet we’d have people injecting super intelligence juice into their butts so they can get an edge on how to properly educate our future.

And consider this scenario. What if the steroid-man who makes 100 million dollars on artificially enhanced ability then takes that money to Africa and make a dent in the humanitarian disaster that is going on there. Would we then chide the athlete for using “dirty money” to subsidize the effort?

So for those of you crying over this moral melodrama, get over it or move to Canada. Just like the rappers who get called out for ignorant and offensive content, these entertainers are not to blame, they are only responding to the fundamental laws of supply and demand. You can’t knock the hustle. You can’t fault for someone for taking the most direct route to empowerment – whether its steroids and sports, selling drugs on the street, or using insider info to decide on a big stock deal. Capitalism = The American Dream = Survival Of The Fittest.

And if you don’t like this little opinion piece, don’t worry, because I’m taking some stuff now that will literally make my words jump off the page next time. Until then keep in mind there is a risk/reward ratio for every action we make; so do what’s right for you, get in where you fit in, and make it happen.