Strange Travels: The Penis Museum of Iceland
But the tiny Nordic nation is also packed with pickled peckers.
In the northern coastal town of Husavik, far from the relative urbanity of Reykjavik, visitors will find a simple, lodge-like structure that’s home to over 150 preserved penises and assorted penile paraphernalia. It’s the Icelandic Phallological Museum, a serious yet humorous tourist attraction with a penis on record for nearly every species of mammal living on or around the island.
Curious visitors will be wowed by enormous whale wieners, including those of the northern bottlenose, sperm, blue, killer, and humpback whales. They’ll see seal schlongs, walrus wangs, and dolphin dongs. Conventional land mammals are represented too. From the ram and reindeer to the house mouse and the hamster, penises of all sizes are present. Some specimens are simply stiff bones while others are complete testicle-toting penises preserved in formalin.
Of course, not all of the Iceland Phallological Museum’s collection is marked by unmodified members. Penises and penile parts have been used for things like scrotum-skin lampshades, walking sticks, and toothpicks – or is that toothpricks? Whatever you call these special specimens, these practical penises have been preserved for posterity too.
And what about the human male member, you ask?
Well, four generous men have promised to, shall we say, “endow” the museum with their posthumous penises: Pall Arason, Peter Christman, John Dower, and the aptly named American donor, Stan Underwood. Mr. Underwood has been so gracious as to provide the penis museum with a preview mold of his someday-to-be-severed member, eerily named “Elmo.” Until one of these four men dies, the only true Homo Sapiens specimen the Icelandic Phallological Museum can claim is the foreskin of an unidentified middle-aged man, received in 2002.
The penis museum does have items other than just preserved penises (and papers to procure promised penises). Among the non-biological collection are some “artistic oddments and other practical utensils” that celebrate and invoke the mighty power of the penis. These items include lamps, paper towel holders, silverware, and even a tallywacker telephone carved of wood. In the folklore section of the museum, frolickers will find items purported to be penises from mermen, Icelandic elves, and something called an enriching beach mouse.
The full catalog of the Iceland’s penis museum, along with some pictures, is available at the official Phallological Museum website: www.phallus.is. It’s definitely a tourist attraction to re-member.
