Strengthening the Bond Between Parent & Child
1. Encourage Individuality
I’m not saying that you should let your child wear a kelly green tank top with orange pants to Sunday School, but let your children express themselves creatively. If they want to wear a cape and “fly” around the house, make up a superhero name for them and discuss possible special powers. Likewise, let them have a hand in decorating their room; let them choose prints and posters that express their unique gifts and traits.
2. Create a Secret Handshake
Nothing inspires bonding time more between parent and child than having a secret handshake that no one else knows. Use the secret handshake only when other people aren’t around, and develop secret code words or secret hand signals to go along with it.
3. Stay True to Rituals
Many parents begin a particular bedtime, mealtime or wake up ritual that never changes through the childhood years. Breaking that ritual might escape your attention, but your child will remember. Establish rituals that observe every day with your children, and make it special. You can also establish rituals (or traditions) for Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter and other holidays. This will develop a familial bond that can never be broken.
4. Do Chores Together
As much as you hate mopping the kitchen floor, your five-year-old would love it. Get your child a mini-broom, a mini-mop or a mini-vacuum cleaner so that they can “help” with the daily chores. This will give them a sense of belonging, and the feeling that they are needed, thus strengthening your bond.
5. Terms of Endearment
If you’re like me, you have names that you call everyone, including the postman and the cashier at the grocery store. Mine is “honey” while yours might be “sweetheart” or “love”. Don’t use any of those general terms of endearment with your children; come up with ones that are unique only to them. It could be an extention of their own name or something different altogether. My father used to call me his “Spider Monkey” and I loved it. He still uses it to this day when we say goodbye on the phone. Things like that stick with children for the rest of their lives, and will only serve to strengthen your bond.
6. Talk to Them
When your child does something wrong, don’t just scold them; explain why it was wrong. Teach them your own beliefs about morals, ethics and faith so that they know what you expect and what you think is important in life. Trust me, they will remember those talks for years to come.
7. Eat Dinner Together
My family ate every meal together, as long as we were all in the house, and that’s a good way to begin strengthening your bond. Eating together will give you an opportunity to talk, share stories about your day and get to know one another on a deeper level. Sometimes meals have to be eaten on the run, but eat as a family more often than not.
8. Hugs, Kisses and I Love You
You can never shower your child with too much affection, no matter their age. Insist upon hugs, kisses and saying “I love you” even when you are angry with each other or tension is high. Don’t make it just a “bedtime” or a “goodbye” occassion, give hugs and kisses for no reason and never forget to express your love. Kids needed to feel loved even when they’re older, as family might be the only constant in their lives.
