Submissive Relationships

To submit to another, one must know themselves and trust themselves, as well as trust the one that they submit to. They must feel safe and secure in their environment, whether it be real life or simply an online experience. Submission, to many is about being controlled, about being dominated in all ways, to have their every decision made for them. To seek this out is to open ones self to being taken and possibly hurt until there is a click. To find the One that fits, you must find an initial connection, build a trust and relationship that is not built from the interactions of a Dominant and submissive. To find the One that is your missing piece can be a lifelong journey for some, and some will never find that, they will bounce from relationship to relationship, seeking the missing link.

I have found my missing link, and even though I will never have the opportunity to be his 24/7 in life, I still belong to him. No one can ever have that piece that I have given him. Even without that 24/7 in life connection, He is my Master, He owns my heart, my body and my soul. It is his to bend to his will as he sees fit and I will serve him in any way he wishes, both in life and online. And perhaps one day, he will allow me to beg his mark to wear in my every day life.

To submit to him has been natural, easy, and wonderful, but it has also been difficult, scary and very challenging as well, and things are still growing, adjusting. We are still learning each other, one day at a time, one conversation at a time. I think that is one of the reasons that I enjoy being his. We share more than a collar, we are friends first. We have a connection outside of the D/s realm that strengthens our bond and Master and slave. But it hasn’t been perfect, nothing is perfect. We have said and done things to hurt one another, but we have learned and grown from them and will continue to learn and grow together.

Trust, the key to a good relationship, along with communication. To me, one can not be in a Master/slave relationship without trust, unconditional trust, otherwise, how can you give that gift of full submission to someone that you can not give your full, unconditional trust. Without communication, it is so easy to lose yourself in a relationship, you can lose your voice and become less than who you are. This has happened to me, and it is something that I need to work on. I have never had an issue with trusting completely, even with everything that has happened, I still can give him my complete, full and perfect trust. There has never been another person in my life who has had that.

When there is a loss of trust, there comes a point when the submissive questions everything the dominant says. They begin to disobey, either intentionally, or subconsciously, not caring if they are punished, not trusting that the dominant cares enough to be bothered with setting forth a suitable punishment. This also leads to a loss of self-esteem, self-worth and a lot of insecurity. It makes a submissive question whether they belong, where they fit and wonder if the entire relationship was built on a sand castle in the clouds.

I know this from experience. I have come away from relationships with bruises on my body, on my heart, on my soul and on my mind. I have always been one to give of myself, fully and completely. As the wiccan motto states, in perfect love and perfect trust, I have given of myself to my dominants and when I came away from those dominants, pieces of me, both inside and out, were broken. Some I thought were broken beyond all forms of repair, but over time, he has slowly glued me back together. I feel that I am a better submissive, and a better person for having him as my Master.

To be owned so completely gives me great pride and great joy when I can serve him and make him proud of me. I flourish under the simple praise for accomplishing small tasks on a day to day basis. I flourish under the strictest control, even when this comes in the form of a punishment of some sort, of any sort. I test my limits and learn when I have crossed that boundary and accept the consequences that comes with such testing. I learn and grow, I become the submissive that he can be proud of, that is worthy of his collar.

To be owned so completely scares me to no end. To give of myself so completely, I am giving that thin thread of control over to another human being who is flawed in his own ways, allowing him to mold and shape me, trusting that he will not break me. For it is my spirit that makes me the person that I am, my spark, my fire. My soul is filled with such passion that it is hard to contain at times, it aches to be free and it scares me.

I give myself to him, in perfect love and perfect trust, his to mold and shape. I give myself to him, mind, body, soul and spirit, for he is Master and I am merely his slave. No matter what else I do, I will always be my Master’s slave. I may be Mistress, wife, lover, teacher, guide, confidant, or friend, each of those pieces make up me, the complete being. His. Always.