Superman Returns: Fighting Lex Luthor While Fighting for Lois Lane’s Love

In the newest installment of the Superman franchise, Superman returns from a five-year “vacation” in which he attempted to find the remains of his home planet Krypton. Ultimately, he finds nothing but a mass graveyard and upon returning back to Earth also finds out that Lois Lane has moved on, had a kid, and is engaged to be married. As if it’s not bad enough fighting with his emotions over Lois, Superman’s arch-nemesis Lex Luthor has devised an evil plan (as if he could devise any other kind). After raiding Superman’s Fortress of Solitude, Lex uses his newly-acquired crystals from Krypton to raise a new continent from under the ocean, one that would drown out most of North America. People would then pay money to live on Lex’s land, thus making him a very, very wealthy man. Superman eventually finds that his fortress was raided and aims to get to the bottom of it, never realizing that Lex also has in his possession Kryptonite, Superman’s main weakness.

I originally wasn’t a big fan of Brandon Routh playing the role of Superman/Clark Kent but as the movie dragged on he proved to be an effective choice. However, he did appear to a bit too skinny to be Superman. Superman is normally a very large man that is extremely chiseled (for obvious reasons) and as Routh was the right height, he lacked the muscular build. As for being Clark Kent, Routh proved he was quite adept at bumbling around and appearing to be just a bit out of touch with society.

This is much more of a love story than any kind of action movie. What kind of superhero movie doesn’t have the superhero throwing one punch, or even fighting the villains AT ALL? The only excuse I can make for the filmmakers is that since Superman is such a powerful hero, any punch would absolutely destroy any human opponent. That’s wonderful, so how about adding a villain or creation of a villain that can prove to be a test against Superman’s strength?

The only action in the movie was that of Superman essentially just lifting large objects and heaving them to protect the innocent; he also happens to save a plane full of people, one that also carries Lois Lane as a passenger (go figure). Even that sequence was hardly breathtaking, or enough to make me forget that I was a wee bit bored at that point. The only thing it seemed Superman ever did was coast around and mope continuously about Lois. Kate Bosworth plays the role as best as she can, but lacks the guts and the attitude that Lois Lane normally possesses. I will say this though: the special effects in general were amazing. It was hard to find any flaw in that regard.

Silly me for going to a superhero film and expecting see action, not just seeing the hero pine after a woman and then get the crap kicked out of him by the villain’s goons and then not even get a chance to fight back. While on the subject of Lex Luthor, Kevin Spacey easily has the best part of the movie. His humor and slight insanity makes my few chuckles help me forget the tedium of the rest of the film, even if just for a few moments.

Lois Lane having a child is easily the most disgraceful thing done to the Superman franchise. No matter what plans the filmmakers have for that child in regards to his role in future films, Lois never had a child. Superman and Lois are of course supposed to get married, have a nice little super dog named Krypto, but never have a kid. I guess that goes with the territory of being gone for five years; of course Lois would move on and find another man (although if I was her, I would wait forever for a guy like Superman to come back). Films that take the liberty to alter superhero storylines really get under my skin and this one does it heavily.

Sitting in the theater for what seemed like days, I was of course wondering when the movie was finally going to end. I did not learn of the running time beforehand and thus was not warned. The official running time is 157 minutes which, being that I am a big fan of superheroes in every way, would normally not bother me but excite me to no end. Superman was the exception and I felt bothered that the length of the movie was annoying; right then I knew it was no good.

In the end, it seems that this movie would suit a woman much more than it would an avid Superman fan. Anyone expecting to see a lot of action will find themselves sitting through a love story where nothing truly gets resolved. On second thought, maybe women wouldn’t even like this. Let’s just wait for the next superhero movie to come out and hope that it’s better.