Surviving Single: Tips to Keep the Faith
Being single isn’t always what’s its cracked up to be! Reality T.V. shows like the episodes of “Single In The City”, have brought the plight of the single woman into the living room of mainstream America. So, what’s the problem right?
Have women become so independent that it’s hard to find a partner to match?
Are women setting their standards too high?
Have women become so strong that men are too intimidated to commit?
Of course not!
Women have long been the topic of thought for straight men since the beginning of time and that’s probably the one thing that hasn’t changed. Some of the biggest things that have changed are social factors, sexual diseases and the increased risk of date rape. Women’s issues like domestic violence and domestic murder don’t help weigh out some of the problems either.
Now days, women have to be more careful and what’s a single chick to do! Better yet, what’s a soon to be young woman to do, the average high school student who’s dealing with issues the women of yesteryear quite possibly never approached because they didn’t exist.
My own Grandmother was married at the ripe old age of fourteen to her eighteen-year-old beau. My Grandparents have endured over sixty years of marriage and have loved every single second of it. They say that they have never disrespected each other, never called each other names or cursed the other to say hateful, hurtful things. Now, even midday cartoons boast scenes of rampant name-calling and that never happened eighty years ago!
Times have changed, there wasn’t computers, online dating, speed dating, worldwide communication or singles support groups when my Grandparents were growing up. Love has become more complicated just because of all the choices and a lot of people, instead of dealing with problems in a relationship have the mind set that, “I can do better”.
No matter what’s to blame for all the changes and increased difficulties, there’s a new set of rules and a completely new way of forming meaningful relationships today, going “old school” isn’t such a bad idea.
The fact remains that when two people with common goals, a true commitment to make things work, with realistic expectations and a genuine bond of love between them, the foundation is solid and not likely to crumble under any circumstance.
The Cinderella, Snow White mentality is out the door! Disney’s original movie, “The Cheetah Girls” proves that in the lyrics sang by the four cast members of the movie. A message has bent sent to young girls across America. The songs lyrics, ” I don’t wanna be like Cinderella, waiting in a cold dark rusty cellar, waiting for somebody to come and rescue me, I’d rather rescue myself”-wow!
The messages are out there, young girls still need to be reminded of what’s acceptable and what’s not with the increasing numbers of domestic violence numbers claiming the lives of our young women caught up in dangerous love.
Prepare young women with the tools they need early on to avoid the problems women apparently face now. Talk to them about the traits of a domestic abuser and how to break free from dangerous love before it becomes violent, ultimately breaking the spirit of a young woman plagued with dilemma’s called “excess baggage”.
Teach them how to respect others, instead of hating the differences in a relationship remind them that if love is there the differences can be embraced and work. Don’t’ teach them to run from relationship problems and teach them the difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one.
If you’re a single chick roughing it every Friday night at the club, you’re probably wasting your time especially if you’re looking for a family kind of guy to settle down with. Why look for a guy you want to settle down with at a party place? That kind of defeats the purpose. Love finds us when we least expect it, live your life on your own terms and stop looking for love in all the wrong places. While you’re out searching the clubs, you’re man could be at the library on Friday night, the laundry mat, the movie theatre, shopping at the supermarket or even at your neighbors child’s birthday party you chose to dip out on.
If you feel you’d fare better by wearing the “Find love or bust” banner, try it, do something out of the ordinary because you never know what you can find. Dare to go where no woman has been before the beat the odds of today’s relationships or lack there of.
Pick up your pride, buckle your seat belt and when there’s no manual to lead you, don’t be afraid to lead the way.
