Tandem Nursing
Tandem nursing was a foreign concept to me until I became pregnant with my second son. My oldest son was 16 months old and because I had decided to practice child-led weaning I continued to nurse him through my pregnancy. When his younger brother was born, he was still nursing about three times per day.
My first concern was that the baby should get as much of the colostrum as possible. The two days I spent in the hospital helped to ensure that he did just that. When I arrived home my oldest son was so interested in the baby that he didn’t ask to nurse for two days. At that point my milk was in and the colostrum was gone.
The first time my oldest son nursed after the baby was born was a beautiful moment. It was his bedtime and we were snuggling while I nursed his baby brother. He asked for ‘nummies’ and I realized that in order to nurse both children at once I’d have to lay down. We got into position and as he nursed he reached across me to hold his brother’s tiny hand.
Some moms may be concerned about their older child wanting to nurse as much as the baby or that the baby won’t enough milk because of the older sibling. Usually there is no cause for concern. Of course, the baby should be weighed and measured at the appropriate intervals to ensure that he or she is thriving. Sometimes mom must set limits with the older nursling so that she isn’t constantly nursing one child or the other. My son, at 2.5, was limited to three nursing sessions per day. I monitored his nursing habits to find when he was mostly like to need to nurse and we worked our nursing sessions around those times. If my toddler wanted to nurse but the baby was hungry and I was unable to nurse them both at once, the baby nursed first. Fortunately this situation didn’t present itself often. As far as having enough milk, the more they nurse, the more I made per the usual way that the breast functions.
I’m not sure that I believe that my sons’ bond with each other was made stronger by tandem nursing. I’m not sure that it wasn’t, however. What I do know is that my older son still needed to nurse and that nursing helped with issues of jealousy and the usual sibling issues that arise when a new baby is born. I also remember how beautiful it was each evening to watch my boys hold hands across me while they nursed.
Tandem nursing isn’t for everyone. A mother who feels ‘touched-out’ by nursing one child might not be able to deal with continuing to nurse an older child and feeling that much more restriction on her time and body. However, for those who want to practice child-led weaning, have children close in age or have a child who is just not quite ready to wean becoming pregnant and having a new baby does not have to mean the end of the nursing relationship between mother and older sibling.
