Teach Your Preschooler to Not Whine

All children whine, but that doesn’t stop parents from wishing their kids wouldn’t. If you want to stop your child from whining you need a combination of consistency and patience.

Ignore It

• If your preschooler starts whining for a snack or a toy, tell her once that you don’t understand what she is saying unless she asks properly.
• If she whines again, tell her you will ignore her. Then turn away.
• Sometimes kids will pitch a fit when they realize they are being ignored. Ignore the fit too, even if it’s in a public place (unless they are about to hurt themselves or someone else).
• Don’t give in and react to the whining. Eventually your child will realize that whining won’t get a rise out of you, and the behavior will stop.

React in Unexpected Ways

• Nothing takes the steam out of a whining fit more than an unexpected reaction.
• Whine back at them using unintelligible gibberish. Most kids will giggle so much, they’ll forget what they were whining about.
• Whip out a tape recorder and record their whiny voice. Most kids don’t realize what whining sounds like unless you play an example for them.

Use Positive Reinforcement

• When your child asks for something nicely, or reacts to your “no” in a pleasant manner, praise her.
• Start a sticker chart. Give her a sticker every time she uses an exceptionally pleasant voice. Take away a sticker whenever she whines. If she gets a pre-set number of stickers at the end of the week, she gets a new treat or privilege.

Look At Other Factors

It’s tempting to label a difficult child a “whiner”. But it may not be all their fault.

• Look at your own behavior. Do you constantly nag your spouse to do something? Or do you whine when you don’t get your own way? Kids model what they see.
• Children who are hungry, tired, frustrated or in pain often articulate their feelings by whining.
• Does your child get enough attention? Many parents notice that whining increases when there is a new baby in the house, or a spouse gets a new job.

Sometimes, despite all their efforts, parents can’t stop their children from whining. At those times, it’s comforting to remember that it’s a normal stage that everyone grows out of eventually.