Teaching Your Toddler Manners: Easier Than it Sounds
Begin with the basics of “please” and “thank you.” These two words are the foundation that manners are built on. This is possibly the easiest task since it generally only requires lots of repetition from the people around them. Whenever you ask your toddler to do something, make sure to say please. Whenever your toddler hands you anything then say thank you. Even if your toddler hands you a nice wad of chewed up paper, say thank you. Eventually they will make the connection. My toddler’s first real word besides the easy ones, such as mama and dada, was “tee” which we discovered actually meant thank you. She has since progressed to “tee tee” which is great because she understands that there are two words involved. She has yet to say please but she understands that whenever anyone says please to her, they are asking for something and she willingly obliges. Again, repetition, repetition, repetition, and you can teach your toddler to understand the concept of please and thank you. These two words are the foundation that manners are built on (please notice the repetition).
The toddler years are times of inevitable tantrums. During these minutes of excruciating torment, it is important to let your child know that their behavior is inappropriate. It is also your responsibility as a parent to discover why the tantrum was thrown. Often, a toddler throws a tantrum because she is unable to express herself and is frustrated. A toddler should not be reprimanded for not being able to express herself at this age. It is important to delicately approach the situation and calmly explain to your toddler that it is not ok to yell, especially in a public place. Calmly speak to your toddler, in a soft voice so they must be quiet to hear you. While your toddler is unable to express her feelings, she is still quite receptive to your words and actions and understands more than we give them credit for. Another good idea is to remove them from the situation. By physically removing them, they learn that their behavior is unacceptable. Of course this will happen again and again before a toddler learns the simple art of controlling the level of their voice and not running and screaming in inappropriate places. It is all about the repetition when teaching a toddler manners.
Table manners are some of the most difficult manners to teach a toddler. Feeding a toddler is often a difficult task in itself. Toddlers can be extremely picky and often find extreme joy in playing with their food. This is an important learning experience for toddlers so it is best to not get angry with them for getting messy. They learn the cause and effect by dropping things from their high chair and watching gleefully as it splats to the floor. This can become exhausting for parents. There is always a point at which a toddler simply engages in this behavior because she is tired and/or angry. At this point, it is time to simply explain why she should not be throwing food or feeding the dog and remove her from the situation. After several dozen occurrences, she will learn what is acceptable at the dinner table. Parents should try to eat with their toddler as often as possible so they can learn from example. This is especially necessary when trying to teach a toddler to use a fork and spoon. There are several products out today that help a toddler to learn to use utensils. It is not as difficult as it seems. My daughter can scoop up food onto her spoon, but she still likes to take the food off the spoon with her fingers. It is a learning process. It is also important to teach your toddler the importance of washing her hands before and after each meal. This can be made more fun by using pump soap with bright colors or recognizable characters. Table manners are easier learned by example so it is important that your child see you in this situation. These tips should make teaching your toddler table manners a little more easy.
The most important of all manners to teach your child is to respect other people and other people’s property. This is much easier said than done. Toddlers live in a world where the world does indeed revolve around them. They have little understanding about how their actions directly affect other people. There is no easy way to teach a toddler about someone else’s feelings. It must be learned through experience. It is important that as the parent, when your child does something wrong or hurtful, that your toddler sees you apologize and you then explain what happened. Often, a toddler will react with crying. This will not be easy to teach but you must be relentless. Teach your child the importance of the words “I’m sorry.” Make sure your child hears you say these words and that you say them to your child whenever appropriate. It is all about the repetition. This is the most difficult of all manners to teach your toddler so don’t be too impatient.
The cardinal rules of teaching your toddler manners are repetition and patience along with seeing these manners in action. Teach your child the importance of “please” and “thank you.” Set a good example for your child at the dinner table. Calmly discuss with your toddler why her behavior is inappropriate, even though she may not fully understand. The calm discussion will force her to calm down herself. Lead by example. Follow these simple concepts and your toddler will learn manners in no time.
