Ten Reasons Why You Should Not Buy Arm & Hammer Advance White Toothpaste

Who doesn’t want whiter teeth? With the myriad of products out there for turning your dim yellows to pearly whites it’s hard to decide what actually works. Well, let me simplify it a little and explain that whitening strips are better in any situation than whitening toothpastes. Why is that? Whitening agents will make your teeth more sensitive right after use, but will really show results. However, whitening toothpastes are more than twice the amount of regular toothpaste and have no real power to whiten your teeth as far or further than the leave in treatments. Rembrandt is the most respected brand of toothpaste whitener, but they are more than just super expensive, they are a waste of my valuable writing time. So, instead I have a few things to say for the middle grade toothpaste whitener-Arm and Hammer’s Advance White Toothpaste. Here are ten reasons not to save your money to buy regular anti-cavity toothpaste and whitening strips instead.

10. No Advancement of White

First off if you are expecting something to “advance” to white than you are sorely mistaken. As far as I can tell, after one tube, I still have the same shade teeth as when I started. Scout’s honor.

9. Yuck!

The tube says it’s a ‘mint’ flavor, but I’d call it baking soda without the entire flavor. It tastes awful and is bitter. I suppose you’ll get used to it, but the initialâÂ?¦sixty times is masochistic.

8. Nothing Minty About It

As an expected side effect to using toothpaste we expect that our breath will be freshened. Well think again! Because of its bitter taste and scent you won’t find yourself feeling minty fresh afterwards.

7. Extra Steps

In consequence to number 8, you will have to use a mouthwash or breath mint just to get the taste out. Thanks for adding a step to my oral hygiene!

6. You’ll Never Finish the Tube

The oversized metallic box this comes in boasts that your teeth will be whiter after the use of just one tube. The whole tube? The only problem is that it tastes so bad, and works so ineffectively that you won’t want to even test out the guarantee.

5. Ambiguous Whitening Guide

Arm and Hammer have so much faith in their product that they include a sheet of varying teeth shades. This guide is to help you establish where you are at now and how many shades lighter you are when you finish. Unfortunately, it is nearly impossible to establish which color you are at any stage because the sheet has a glossy finish and distorts the appearance of all shades.

4. Doesn’t Whiten Three Shades

If it whitens at all, it definitely doesn’t do it to the advertised three-shade degree on the tube. I still believe it can prevent cavities, though, but so can the dollar store brands.

3. All-In-One Fallacy

Essentially, claiming that a toothpaste can drastically whiten is just another way for these companies to make more money on their oral hygiene line. Whitening strips do the job, but with the price of sensitivity. You are better off with the old-fashioned toothpaste that just helps clean and prevent cavities.

2. Hopeless Guarantee

Sure they have a money back guarantee, but if you get past the bitter taste and nonexisting whitening benefits and the finish the tube how will you prove to them that it didn’t whiten three shades? Shades are so subtle and the paper guide so ambiguous that proving your case would be as silly as trying to return pretzels because they didn’t have enough salt per knot. It’s a hopeless guarantee.

1. Product Switched?

This is number one because I found this the most humorous feature. It isn’t accurately named. Arm and Hammer have an Enamel Care Natural Whitening product that actually whitens to a slightly noticeable degree. If they had a product that almost worked, why not market it? Those silly people at Arm and Hammer have probably been switching labels on us all the time. Who would have thought?

So, if you want whiter teeth, this isn’t the product for you. What more can I say?