Ten Reasons Why You Should Not Buy Carmen Electra’s Aerobic Striptease Workout Series

10. They aren’t a good workout. First off, the title itself is misleading. “Aerobic”? That’s a joke. Secondly, they collection is advertised as a blend of dance and striptease; the “exotic blend of fitness technique combined with the fun of dance”. Well, neither Carmen, nor her fellow dancers have very good technique and quite frankly, there isn’t any fun or really any dancing involved.

9. There are five tapes in the collection. One of which is dedicated to toning. So of the four remaining tapes, there are between one and two routines on each tape.

8. The routines are really short. They are also broken down at a ridiculously slow pace so you work up a sweat�um never. And the majority of time allotted to each routine is mainly dedicated to the breaking down of the routine, not to the actually performance.

7. On disc two, the only decent tape in the collection, Carmen spends most of the time talking about the exercises rather than actually doing them. And when she is doing the exercises, she does them lackadaisically.

6. The tapes are meant to introduce you to striptease. And through continuously doing the routines you are supposed to not only get in shape, but also feel more comfortable with your body and the “art” of striptease. The problem is that once you attempt to get through the mind-numbing breaking down of the routine and then the eventual run through of that routine, you never want to do the tape again. This is because instead of that great rush you get after a good workout, you instead feel like you still need to work out, which means you’ve now wasted 20 minutes.

5. Thus, the tapes leave you feeling angry and for those in a time crunch, maybe stressed. Because here you are, having bought the tapes. Dedicated yourself to working out, being led by the marketing hype that you’ll get a great workout, a “dancer’s body”. And all have to show for your efforts is a headache.

4. On the bottom back cover of the videos is the disc’s running time. Now to be fair, this is always misleading, as there is always some form of introduction on all workout tapes. And the majority of the time this introduction is included in the calculations of the running time. However, the running time on the striptease videos are more misleading than most. And when combined with all the other time-wasting qualities of the videos, they are even more annoying than most.

3. Again, disc two is the only recommended video, if any, in the collection. And while the guest trainer makes a valiant effort to put up with Carmen, the editing of the disc is completely screwed up. Jumping from one side of an exercise to another. So that in order to a) properly follow the routine and b) to keep both sides evenly worked out you have to have watched the tape consistently a number of times so you know when the sloppy editing cuts are coming. Doing so is the only way you will be able to follow the jump-cuts and even then, it’s not a guarantee.

2. In the promotions, it says you can adjust the music options and select your own music to listen to during the workout. Well, one if you are already wasting twenty minutes on a non-workout, who wants to spend the time resetting the music options on the DVD. And two, if you’re listening to different music, how are you going to perform the routine they are supposedly teaching you?

1. Unless you enjoy listening to people who come across as having the IQ of a donut, you won’t like being led by Carmen or her fellow dancers.