Ten Reasons Why You Should Not Buy New Masters of the Universe Figures by Mattel

“I have the power!” That’s the classic line that He-Man would shout, at the top of his lungs, every so often on the classic 1980’s Masters of the Universe cartoons. He-Man, Skeletor, Zodac, Man-At-Arms, Tri Klops, Teela, and many others possessed the ‘power’ to make millions of kids watch them daily. Then that power extended to a line of great toys. In the early 80’s, Mattel released some of the most accurate looking toys on the market. He-Man the toy looked just like He-Man the cartoon character. Skeletor was just as realistic. When you played with the toys, and yes, we actually opened them and played with them, it was easy to recreate what you saw on television. The toys were amazing. Not only were they larger than most action figures of the time (ie. Star Wars), but they were durable. I loved them.

Then, about five years ago, when I heard that Mattel was reissuing them, I could hardly wait to see them. Many of the new Star Wars figures look great but several looked ridiculous. I had hopes that the new Masters of the Universe figures would be equally impressive. When they were finally released, I, and millions of fans, were disappointed. So here are the 10 reasons why you shouldn’t buy the new Masters of the Universe figures made by Mattel.

#10) Mattel is just trying to capitalize upon our nostalgia for the 1980’s. This isn’t always a bad thing. VH1 recently ran several series titled “I Love the 80’s”. That bit of nostalgia worked. The shows are wonderful. The reason why is because they are authentic and accurate. The new Masters of the Universe figures are neither.

#9) Everybody is on steroids. Much like the 1995 series of Star Wars figures, the 2004 Masters of the Universe figures are way to muscular. The 1995 Luke Skywalker figure looked like he could bench press a Bantha. It was as if Luke had been working out at the Balco Labs. Granted, He-Man and most of the characters in the Masters of the Universe series were very muscular, but the original 1980’s figures depicted them in a way that wasn’t grotesque. Those from 2004 are ALL muscles. It is crazy and ugly. He-Man’s bicep shouldn’t be twice the size of his head.

#8) The price. The old figures were about $3 each. The new figures cost roughly $8 each. Now, I understand the whole inflation and 20 years later bit, but this is still insane. These toys are meant to be for kids but kids can’t pay that much and be able to collect an entire set.

#7) They should be intended for kids but are actually made for adults. This is the fact that toy makers realize. Adult collectors make up nearly 60% of all toys bought. Toy companies take advantage of this by releasing dozens of figures that are unnecessary (He-Man in different outfits, or worse, same figure with different packaging) but know that adults collectors will buy anything with the name (Masters of the Universe) on the box. This also allows for higher prices. It ruined the baseball card industry and may ruin the toy industry.

#6) They aren’t built to scale. I touched briefly on this in #9, but it needs more explaining. The original toys were more to scale. The head, arms, torso, and legs were symmetrical and proportional. On the newer Masters of the Universe figures, everything is awkward looking. Heads are the size of peas, legs are twice as long with very little room for torso, arms are gigantic, and every muscle is huge. Why did they do this?

#5) Made to be collected. This is why today’s toys, baseball cards, and virtually anything that people buy, to collect, will be worth less in the future than when they bough it new in a store. Millions of people did buy the new Masters of the Universe figures, but how many of these people opened them? Maybe 25%? Nobody opens their toys any longer. Everybody buys them and stores them in boxes and thinks that in 20 years that they will be worth a fortune (like the original Star Wars figures). This is not the case. Millions of these figures are sitting around collecting dust in millions of peoples’ closets. If you are buying them as an investment, you will be disappointed.

#4) The packing is ugly. For those who do like to keep their toys unopened, these are some ugly looking packages. They all look alike. You have to look hard to even see the figures amid the sea of red and purple. I just think that they are ugly.

#3) The figures, when opened, are difficult to distinguish from each other. This has nothing to do with scale, muscles, or anything other than the appearance of them. If you had 20 Masters of the Universe figures from the 80’s and 20 Masters of the Universe figures from the 2000’s all opened and on a table, you would be able to see what I mean. The newer ones all look alike. Everybody has the same design or body type or something. It is annoying.

#2) The originals are cheaper. The original Masters of the Universe figures from the 80’s cost as little as $1 each (opened). Unopened figures are very expensive. If you buy newer figures, with intent to open them, you’re going to pay nearly $10 each for them and they will not look as cool as the originals.

And the number one reason why you should not buy the new Masters of the Universe figures from Mattel.

#1) They are just plain ugly. Just look at them. Every aspect of these figures; from looks, to packaging, to colors, to size, to price, to everything, is just plain ugly. They are one of the worst toy lines in the history of collecting. When you consider that the original Masters of the Universe figures are one of the best toy lines ever, you realize that they no longer “have the power!”