Ten Reasons Why You Should Not Buy Starbucks Drinks
But I digress. Let me give you ten reasons why you need to fight the urge to walk into a Starbucks and picking up one of their patented drinks (it’s hard, I know, with the ads and all, but try!).
10. The drinks can sometimes make you sick. I know the company has policies in place to stem this from happening, but come on, it’s still a company and doesn’t pay enough to its regular employees to keep everything insanely clean. They simply rinse the blenders after making your frappuccinos in the sink, which is also where you wash the disgusting rags with chemicals on them. Do you think that they’ll really rinse that thing ever so clean during a rush?
While we’re at it, the shops are full of sugars, syrups, and juices. There are flies everywhere. Why do you think the lights are so dim? Yeah, that’s right, so you wouldn’t notice the tiny fruit flies that swarm around the sweet stuff that end up in your drink.
9. This could probably be part of number ten, but it’s so extensive, I’ve given this one its own number. The making of the blended drinks’ bases is a disgusting process. You dump all these packaged things into a plastic bin and add tap water. Now I’m not sure if some of you have seen these bins. It’s pretty gross. It’s where the large quantities of prepared liquid are mixed and held before they’re poured into the smaller pitchers that the customer sees out front. Now trust me when I say this – I used to work for Starbucks – I would sometimes notice small dead bugs and hair in these plastic bins, just floating on the surface. How did they get there? I have no idea. I don’t mix the bases often enough. But I can tell you that’s not going to agree with your stomach.
And if you ever do happen to catch someone mixing these bases, just watch them work. It’s like a mad scientist brewing a concoction to recreate Frankenstein.
8. You’re subjected to the baristas’ creepy glares. They constantly need to pretend they’re happy and smile at you. Working as one, I hated it. Being a customer and having to face one, I also hated it. So why keep the act? I give you money, you give me sustenance. All is well.
7. If you buy something, you might be tempted to stay. And if you stay long enough, you just might need to use the bathroom. Those bathrooms may look clean and all, but you’d be disgusted too if you knew what went on in there.
And I don’t just mean people launching #2’s and streaming #1’s. I mean that nearly a third of the people who walk into a Starbucks head directly towards the restroom, and that’s it. No purchase, no anything. This includes homeless people, fumbling loons, and drug addicts. Yes, some drug addicts have gone into a Starbucks simply to shoot it up in the bathrooms. Think about that the next time you need to take a leak there.
6. Have you seen the commercials? Do you really want to burst into a spontaneous, interpretive dance? Or fall down a long flight of stairs, seemingly impervious to pain? At least until you start feeling the effects of internal bleeding, four broken ribs, and a fractured skull? Yeah, me neither.
5. The stuff is like nicotine to some people. Customers would come back for the fourth time in a single day to order the same quad of espresso. Mind you, this would be at 6 o’ clock in the evening – – the first would have been during the morning rush. Do these people ever sleep?
4. Do you know the number of calories in these drinks? And I don’t mean the canned double-shots and stuff (although they’re damn packed with calories, too). Those blended drinks give you enough calories to fulfill anywhere from 1/5 to 1/4 of your supposed daily intake. Keep this up and your butt won’t be able to pass through the store exit.
3. Starbucks destroyed my Burger King. I know, I know, that’s not really a wide-ranging reason (yet), but now I don’t have a close source of fast food. And it could happen to you! Which leads me to my next reason…
2. Stop the regime! The more you put money into their products, the more they’ll expand! Pretty soon, our local malls and restaurants will exist no more! Our museums! Our toy stores! And all you’ll be left with are twenty Starbucks shops and a Wal-mart.
1. And for crying out loud, a sugar drink costs over four bucks! Even a regular, grande coffee will cost you two dollars! Yet, I still can’t taste anything special no matter how many coffees I have. If you want a quick fix in the morning, you’d be better off going to the nearby deli and buying a cup of caffeine for a couple of quarters. As for all the other drinks on the menu, do you really want to pop down the price of your entire lunch for a 12oz. drink?
