Ten Reasons You Should Not Buy the Cow If You Are Getting the Milk for Free.
While it is not common practice for young people to wait until they are married before they start bumping uglies, it is far too common for the immediate result of a pregnancy to be a marriage. That begs the question then, Does one bad set of self prescribed circumstances automatically dictate that we make bad choices? I say no. Here are ten reasons that if you have been getting the milk for free that when the result is pregnancy, you should not automatically assume it’s time to buy the bullâÂ?¦or the cow:
1) While it’s true that children raised in two parent homes fare better and are safer from predators and abuse than children raised in single parent households, the fact is that children are harmed just as badly by parents who stay together for the “sake of the kids” than not. Kids learn to be parents and spouses from observing, and sadly, they are incredible mimics.
2) 90% of your happiness or frustration in life will come from your selection in a spouse. Getting married as the result of making the best of a difficult situation will more often than not, result in frustration, not happiness.
3) It’s one thing to get the milk. It’s another to get the cream. You deserve the cream.
4) Marriage is a decision devoid of life factors. While it’s not necessary for it to be founded on love in order to survive, it helps. A foundation of lust is fleeting.
5) Most times when a couple finds themselves in this situation, both are quite young, under the age of 25. In case you missed the memo, as a general rule, guys don’t become men until they are either 26 or 40. If they miss the boat at 26, they miss it until they are 40. If they miss it at 40, then they likely will never grow up. In any case, ladies, you already have one kid to raise. You don’t need another.
6) Living together, while not espoused by religion is a commonly accepted way in this day and age to give a child an opportunity at a two parent household without necessarily tying a couple into the bonds of marriage. Marriage makes two people one under the eyes of the law. It’s much more difficult to break apart if the situation merits. WORST case scenario, if the romance ends, there is still a shot that the roommate situation can work out. Roommates living together for the sake of children are a lot more sustainable than spouses. For one thing, social lives are not automatically considered a single unit. For another, Men in marriages often feel trapped unless they are smitten.
7) As a new parent, you are going to need to be devoted to your child. Child rearing is stressful on a marriage. Newly married couples have a tough enough time adjusting to each other without having a kid in the mix.
8) If you do marry and stay with your spouse for the sake of the kid, when the kids leave home, you will find that you wasted 18-25 years of your life and that you are living with a perfect stranger who you hate. Mark my words. It happens that way more often than not.
9) Along the lines of number 7, Marriages, like babies, need time to gestate. Talk to any happy married couple of twenty or more years and they will tell you that the first year or two of marriage was the time they fought more than any other.
10) Marriage is about coupling with the person without whom you would be a useless shell of a person. It’s not about settling down with who you can make a life with, but rather about settling down with that person that you cannot imagine living without.
There you have it. If getting the milk for free results in a pregnancy, by all means, find a way to be good parents, but don’t assume that one difficult set of circumstances means you should throw your life away by entering into an empty marriage based on a tough circumstance.
