Terrible Twos
Even though it’s referred to as the “Terrible Twos”, baby experts say that children can start this difficult stage as young as eighteen months old. The experts also say this is a “normal stage” in a child’s development. But that explanation doesn’t much help parents who are trying to deal with a child who is between eighteen months and two years of age.
So, what’s going on with young children at this age, and why do they act up? To understand the Terrible Twos, we’ll have to start at the beginning. A baby communicates by crying. They tell you when they are hungry, when their diaper needs changed, or when they’re sleepy by crying. This form of communication usually continues on until they are well past a year old. Around that time, your baby usually begins to form words, and a different type of communication begins.
And, by the time your baby is between eighteen months and two years old, they still cry when something upsets them. But they can actually talk to you now. Their vocabulary is still meager, but they understand the meaning of “yes” and “no”.
Sometime during this age range, your child begins to feel the need for independence. Thus, the Terrible Twos begins. He or she, of course, is still completely dependent on you for their basic needs- food, shelter, clothing, and so on. So, the only way they can gain any independence is by using what they know- the power of disagreement. Instead of answering “yes” when you want them to, they say “no”, and vice versa.
What makes the Terrible Twos- this period of opposition- worse, is the fact that your child doesn’t possess the maturity to really make up his or her own mind. So, on top of disagreeing with you, they often disagree with themselves as well.
To deal with a child who is suffering from the Terrible Twos, you should try to offer him or her choices when possible. For example, “Do you want cereal or pancakes for breakfast?” affords your child a choice to make. Making choices like this on their own will help your child obtain a feeling of independence.
However, be careful not to go overboard. Your child still needs to know that you are in control. That is, you make the important decisions that affects their lives, because they are unable to.
Offer him or her too many choices, and they are likely to dissolve into a puddle of tears.
Not only that, but children- even ones who are experiencing the Terrible Twos- want to please their parents. It’s a natural desire. And, when children disagree with their parents in an effort to stretch their independence, it naturally causes them stress. They want to be independent to a certain degree, yet they want to please their parents at the same time.
The Terrible Twos are a time of growing up, to a certain degree, for a child. It’s also a rough time for his or her parents. You must be gentle and patient, yet firm and in control, whatever the present situation calls for. Just remember that, “this too shall pass”, and that your child will eventually get through this adjustment period in their life.
