The 3 Essential Elements That are Needed for Marriage Longevity

I’m 37 years old. I’ve been divorced for just over 6 years. I’ve given advice on a relationships advice forum for a number of years and I’ve seen so many men and women who are having troubles in their marriage. Making a marriage last is hard work but I noticed that in most of the cases I’ve seen over the years, one or all of the following elements are missing. Sadly, the current statistics on the amount of marriages that end in divorce is greater than the stats of the marriages that do indeed last “until death do us part”. I honestly believe that if a married couple adheres to the following, they can greatly increase their chances of their marriage lasting a lifetime.

1. COMMUNICATION – We hear that all the time don’t we. Think about it for a minute. You spouse. This is the one who you stood up with and made a vow to spend the REST OF YOUR LIFE with through sickness and health and everything in between. There should be NOTHING that you and your spouse cannot openly discuss. Communication is more than saying what’s on your mind but it includes LISTENING as well. When your spouse is speaking, look her in the eyes and concentrate on what they are saying. Many times, we sit there and instead of listening, we are thinking about what we are going to say next.

2. AN OPEN MIND – This means to be able to take constructive criticism. Being able to see our own flaws, put ourselves in our partner’s shoes, and admit when we are wrong. We are human. No one is perfect and we are going to screw up at times and upset our spouse. Swallow your pride. The sooner you admit you’re wrong or acknowledge that you need to make changes, the sooner a resolution to the issue can be made.

3. HONESTY – Lies and deception are nothing but destructive. There should be no secrets. That’s about as cut and dry as it gets. No need to elaborate I don’t think.

The desire to work at it is just as important as the 3 things above. There’s nothing more frustrating than wanting to work on things and your spouse just doesn’t have the energy or desire to do it. All of these things above are USELESS unless BOTH parties are willing to practice them and LIVE them.

This isn’t rocket science. It’s actually pretty simple. But I believe that if BOTH (very important) the husband and wife are on the same page in these three things, they can overcome almost ANY adversity. In most cases, damaging things such as infidelity and the feeling of neglect can be adverted before they even occur. Take infidelity for example. If it’s a physical thing or an emotional thing, the reasons why people cheat are always because of a lack of some sort of satisfaction. If the one who feels this way can openly talk about what they feel is lacking and the other can openly listen, the chances of the couple being able to make changes and avoiding something as damaging as infidelity are MUCH greater.

There are other things involved too of course but a couple is FAR less likely to split up or even have serious problems if they practice these three things. Pray together. Talk together. Tell each other (that’s both of you) what’s on your mind and you’ll have a much better chance of a happy marriage that will last a lifetime.