The Agony of Living With a Jobless Husband
Best to marry for love so that when problems of life come in basinful, no matter the odds or how bad the situation might be, you’d still want to stick like a leech to your hubby. It is that special feelings you have for him that makes you console each other and say that tomorrow would bring a better tidings. It is that feeling that makes you still want to rump on the hay with him despite the fact that his pauch is like that of an eight months’ pregnant woman.
So when your darling hubby loses his job, don’t turn him to the spit pot of the neighbourhood. Believe me, I know how easy it is for women to fall into that trap of insulting their husbands. They start with calling him , stupid jobless man , down to monkey. That is when true love is best tested, found and cherished. You would never know if a babe or guy really loves you, when you have all the trappings of life within your reach and life is a song. Have you ever put that babe who claims to have an undying love for you on trial? Have you come home to tell her one-day that you lost your million dollars job. That the posh car and luxurious apartment have to go? Try it and tell me what happens. You can go as far as telling her that you would be squatting with one of your friends. How does she take it? Come on, tell meâÂ?¦
It is when the chips are down that you can find true love. That was what I told my friends, Terry and Joe, but I was talking to the wind. They both want to make millions before going in search of Miss Right. Best of luck to them, but they mustn’t come crawling back to tell me soppy stories, I’d sure say ” I told you so!”
I am ashamed to say that most ladies simply turn to hyenas when their husband fortunes become like that of Michael Henchard in Thomas Hardy’s The Mayor of Casterbridge . Ladies fail to see that life cannot always be Roses and Champagne. Whatever life dishes out , accept it with a cheery face. There’re many whose lots are worse than yours. But majority of daughters of Eve would want to treat the guy like a houseboy, laundryman or nanny. Oh, yes, I forgot to mention, cook! You’d hear them groaning “salt is too much in this soup! Haven’t I told you several times to first put salt before seasoning? I can’t eat this food! And just don’t expect me to bring any moreâÂ?¦.” And on and on, they go. They turn the boy to chef and force him to learn cartering practicals!
As I said earlier, it’s easy to fall into such trap, what with the burden of the family being on you and the aged parents not giving a fig whether your hubby is out of job or not, all they want is “money”. Children have to pay school fees, Electricity bills waiting and worse still, that bad belly landlord answering your greetings through his nostrils because you owe him three months. If the pay pack were bulky, you wouldn’t mind so much. Frustration sets in and before you know it, you begin to vent it on your beloved ones. You spank your kids for minor offences once overlooked and start yelling at your hubby. The problem with treating your hubby in such manner is that neighbours are quick to learn from you, so also do the kids at home. My elder sister’s hubby has not been working for long, no thanks to the mess our labour market is in. but you’d never know. The trying situation seems to deepen their love. I heard that, she hands over her salary to him once she receives it. Please now look here! Don’t go and give your chronic alcohol drinking or pool playing addicted hubby your salary and say it was Rose that asked you to show love. I tell you, you’d drink oats till thy kingdom come and I wouldn’t show my face! I’m just citing an example.
I heard that some women, once they come from office, would go to the clothes line and pick one of their pants. Scrutinise it for any tiny stain and woe betides the hubby if there is any. She could even deny him , his conjugal right that night for not washing her pants and bra clean to her satisfaction. Joblessness takes away the manhood of some men. Can you blame them? After all, there is a saying that, he who pays the piper, dictates the tune. So the woman is now the head of the family, since he can no longer live up to his responsibility, he is relegated to the background to play the wife. It shouldn’t be like that!
It is just like the case of Frederick and the wife. She was as fat as an elephant and he was as tiny as an ant when placed on the platform with her. He was supposed to be a carpenter, but jobs hardly come. The mountain of a wife has to do everything. She was a petty trader. She traded in food items and had up to nine boys working for her. Couldn’t have been easy for her. They were always quarreling about one minor issue or the other. And the truth is that the woman always came out the winner because she had only to sit on him and breath deeply and the hubby would start clamouring for help from neighbours. And to the best of my knowledge, no neighbour had ever achieved the feat of pulling her off, except when she was satisfied that the stupid, jobless idiot had learnt his lesson.
Now there’s nothing wrong with a hubby assisting his wife, but the woman must never take it for granted. This is the absolute time to show him love and respect, for his self-esteem is at the lowest. I guess I can appreciate and understand why my friend Frank, has always insisted that he would never collect a dime from his wife no matter the odd. He simply doesn’t wish to lose his manhood. There’re many Franks in this world, but they fail to see that a woman is supposed to be a helper. All women can’t be bad, just as I’m slowly but painfully beginning to realise that all men can’t be heartbreakers. If you’re jobless and your wife treats you like a piece of trash, don’t get angry, just be happy and only intensify your effort in your search for a job. This is when most marriages, no matter the number of years, crumple like a pack of cards, instead of bringing them closer. A hubby, tired of being verbally castrated by his working wife, would seek solace in the arms of another, outside the matrimonial home and wife simply spread apart her thighs for the Managing Director, sure that before she leaves for home, some dough would go with her. She becomes brazen enough to allow MD drop her right in front of her home, while hubby numbly watches with a wailing baby in one hand and a feeding bottle in the other . Kai! hubby, close your mouth before fly enters! Don’t allow shock weaken you, find courage in it.
As for you over there , whatever you do, don’t turn your wife to a punching bag just because you’re angry at the whole world for losing your job. Perhaps God has a better plan for you. Remember that she loves and cares for you. You may assist her in the chores if you come home early from dropping CV. Don’t start yelling, “so you want to turn me to shit because I don’t have a job! You can’t respect me anymoreâÂ?¦.,” just because she asked you to assist her check the pot while she deals with the toddler’s wet nappy. Unemployed hubbies take the crown in reading meanings into insignificant issues. Even chores they assisted before to do at home would now be counted as an insult. And ladies, I know it is not easy, but take heart, and remember that the storm might just be over tomorrow. If you leave your hubby or treats him like dirt because he doesn’t have a job, what would you do if he hits a goldmine of a job tomorrow and tells you he doesn’t wish to continue with the marriage?
Liz was a loving wife until her hubby lost his well paying job, then she unsheathed her jezebel like claws. She practically drove the guy nuts until he found solace in the hands of an advanced spinster. We have to give it to Liz, she was very nice to her hubby after he lost his job for a year or two before she went bang. The advanced spinster had money and only wanted a married or single man who would make her a MRS. She lavished love on the man and treated him like a king. His forays into his own home became rarer. Initially Liz would rant and rave that he kept away from home to avoid the domestic chore but at a point she gave up. What’s the point of flogging a dead horse. His new lady brought him luck. He got a fantastic job. He drove in posh cars. He indeed arrived. Plans on marrying the spinster were afoot. And just when this was on, Liz came to the spinster’s home, not to confront her hubby, but to ask for forgiveness. She wanted their marriage to continue and reminded him not to forget their four children, adding that it would be criminal to raise kids in a broken home. What would you do if you were Liz’s guy?
