The Art of Loving

The words on the pages don’t look too busy and your eyes can easily stroll through them. The book was easy to read, but complex in the text. Other than repeated text, I enjoyed the book for the most part, and found it interesting and helpful in some areas of my life. The book contains a lot of redundant with in the text. The author has a habit of constantly repeating himself. When he explains love relations in the Theory of Love, I feel that it is redundant and no need to repeat it twice. Example: “The sense of falling in love develops usually only with regards to such human commodities as are within reach of ones own possibilities for exchange. Two people thus fall in love when they feel they have found the best object available on the market, considering the limitations of their own exchanged values. To me he’s saying the same thing, the wording changes slightly.
I feel that maybe the author is trying to reinforce his point of view. In a way, it can be helpful if the reader needs reinforcement and the negative side of his repeated redundancy can take away from the reading. The reader can easily lose his train of thought.

Because the book was written back in 1956, the editor may not have cared much about repeated text. Or, maybe the author was trying to make a point about his writings to make the reader more aware of the words on the page. I feel that Fromm was a man who loved to give. He found joy in seeing others happy, because it made him feel more alive. The author mentions an overflow, spending on others, which brought him joy.

I also feel sadness in Fromm concerning love relationships. I feel Fromm may have had a problem with whom he was. I feel that he may have suffered with male and female relationships. I also feel like he may have struggled with his own heterosexual relationships as well. He often mentions man giving his sperm to woman, or the act of sex itself. I feel that he had an overly fascination with the sex act and the way it’s performed.

The act of love Fromm feels is the “full knowledge of knowing someone.” He feels that it’s the daring plunge into the experience of union. I agree with him to a certain degree. Once you enter into a person I feel that you can reach the inner person more freely; but we never really know a person. We only become closer to them physically which makes us feel that we know them or what they like.

It is unclear to me why Fromm feels like the heterosexual cannot or is incableable of love. While he feels the homosexual person has to suppress his true feelings of what he feels is love. I feel that he may have been dealing with something personal himself.

Fromm uses several theories from Freud to show his theories of male and female relationships during his time. The female was thought very little of as a woman sexually. She was not thought to think or feel in sex just to be an object to man for him to relieve himself sexually. Almost like today. However, people are more educated and knowledgeable of the female feelings and her body’s need for sexual pleasure. I for one know and have been told that sex is based on upbringing and culture. The more women a man can have proves his manhood. The desire to satisfy the woman is not important to many men. Only her satisfying him.

Love Between Parent And Child
Fromm feels that a mother’s love is unconditional towards her child because that is her child and that’s what mothers do, they love. They love you because of who you are. I agree with Fromm, about a mother’s unconditional love he’s right it cannot be controlled and a child should not have to worry if they deserve their mother’s love because a mother’s love is natural not staged she either loves you are she don’t. Unlike God, who loves us anyway because he’s God and we are his children and his love is unconditional.

Fromm feels that between 8-10 a child becomes aware of loving others. Sharing and expressing their love. I agree that a child becomes more aware of expressing themselves by that age because I can remember by the age of eight I wanted to give myself to the world. I wanted to be an actor. I wanted to show everyone what I had to give. “My Talent”. That feeling has never left me even as an adult.

Fromm made a good point about paternal love. Most people especially men feel like they have to earn their fathers love where as a mother gives love more freely. Children feel that nothing is expected of them from mother but to be good and get good grades in school. Where as with fathers they discipline you for any little thing, you do. Where as mother sometimes let things escalate.

I also feel that Fromm had a strong belief and love for God and he was forever growing in the Lord trying to grow stronger in his faith. He wanted to show in my opinion that man can be whole and sane and still have love for God. He also made the point about God in different religions can be mother and father. That’s what we all need is a mother’s view and a father’s view in our lives. Fromm proved that we could find that in God. Extending love to strangers and doing unto others as they do unto you. We all should try to love our neighbor as ourselves. Even though it’s hard to do, Fromm gave us something to think about.