The College Girl’s Guide to Dating and Handling Rejection When He Doesn’t Call
You were gorgeous. You didn’t play dumb. You were awesome.
So why the heck didn’t he call?!
Realize this: Every girl goes through it. Don’t feel like you’re the only person in the world who is going through feelings of rejection, or that you’re unlovable-or some other ridiculous notion like that. Yes, you’re going to feel hurt and disappointed because the idiot didn’t call you the next day-after what you thought was a great date-but you know time will make things better.
Doubtless you just want to know why he didn’t call. We all want to know. Most of us never find out. And you know what? Why should we care? If he can’t see how kick-ass awesome you really are-then you didn’t waste too much time. You’re moving onto better things.
But how to move onto the better things? How to make this period of miserable rejection jog by rather than creep by?
Get your girl power music going-you know you’ve got random mp3’s on your computer that make you feel empowered. Or if you want to try something new, check these out: Bif Naked’s “I Love Myself Today”, Garbage’s “Special”, Kelly Clarkson’s “Since You’ve Been Gone”, Beth Hart’s “Delicious Surprise”, Sinead O’Connor’s “No Man’s Woman”, Madonna’s “Sorry”, and Jem’s “It’s Just a Ride”âÂ?¦to name a few.
Music has the power to change our emotions, thus giving us a control over them. So utilize it. Keep the music going. And as it swells through you, make your buddy list private on AIM-so that you can’t check his profile and he’ll never know you’re on. Don’t allow yourself to read his Facebook wall every ten minutes, searching for clues or jokes from his buddies that will allude to you either – it’s not worth the time.
Let the endorphins flow. Your thoughts are probably riddled with confusion, doubt, anger, and hurt. Let them fuel you-as you run, kick-box, dance, or slam a tennis ball down the line, let those feelings drive you. Think of the outpouring sweat as a purification ritual-sweat it all out. By the time you’re finished, you’ll be feeling as buoyant as Kelly Ripa (maybe not as perky or annoying, but you get the idea), and by bedtime you’ll be exhausted from the exertion.
Keep your friends close. Call each one and plan to do something within the next 24 hours-the busier you keep yourself, and the longer you have a caring, listening ear at your side, the less alone you’ll feel and the more likely you are to laugh-because who makes you laugh more than your girlfriends?
Take on a few more work shifts, if your schedule is allowing you moping time. Throwing yourself into work (or that paper you’ve been procrastinating on) will force you to focus on present tasks, giving your mind a much needed break from looping questions or ranting tirades.
And since you’re going to be running and kicking out frustration and belting out lyrics to ultra-femme music, eat that chocolate. Or cheesecake if you’re allergic to chocolate. You deserve it. But not too much-because you know too much just makes you feel like wallowing in front of Days of our Lives-and that is not quality mind food.
Do yourself a favor and read a young adult book. These are the only books that contain humor, love and romance, adventure, and young people’s problems, while having a happy and always inspirational ending. They’re tailor-made to make you feel good.
Write a letter to him. Don’t send it. Just get your feelings out. Every question you have, followed by your rants of how insensitive and cowardly he behaved, just let it rip. When you’re done with it, go get a fabulous haircut. It never fails to make you feel beautiful and put an extra bounce in your step.
Don’t forget: call your mom, your aunt, or your older sister. Someone who’s been there before you and lived through it. She’ll also know how truly great you are, more than anyone else, and she’s sincere about it. She doesn’t just say things to make you feel better-she means it.
