The Conceptualization of Family in Gay and Transgendered Communities
During the chaotic hustle and bustle of the holidays, some families find themselves somewhat neurotic in attempting to complete their holiday errands. Some of my friends, not the holiday going type, jokingly respond to this type of behavior in wishing they could choose more sane families. An underdeveloped and under appreciative comment yields a level of understanding at the joking level, yet there some unfortunates exist that find themselves with a chosen family. In the case of the homosexual community as well as the transgendered community some find their biological families hostile to the formation of a non-heterosexual identity or gender appearances, respectively. As homosexuals and transgendered people try to find ways to build a supportive community that understands and serves the needs of those that are in need of help, the construction of a “chosen family” facilitates those needs.
But why would someone consider homosexual or transsexuals as “unfortunate” for choosing a family like I mentioned above? Also, what benefits arise when someone chooses a family? The construction of a chosen family can best be understood by alluding to the AIDS epidemic in the 1980’s. During this time homosexual men, through their lack of sexual education in conjunction with unprotected sex with multiple partners, they became the target for the spread of the epidemic. Many homosexuals find themselves ostracized by their families with no where to turn for emotional support and physical support (when inflicted with the disease). While homosexual men died of AIDS, “nine times out of ten it’s the fake family who cleans up the shit.”[2] Friends cared for dying friends since biological families stigmatized the homosexual plague and did not want themselves to be associated with AIDS.[3]
When in the face of adversity and left with nowhere to turn, by constructing communities that understand and support homosexuals and transsexuals, a “chosen family” or a group of chosen friends act to group, protect, and facilitate support for an individual in need. Applying this concept more specifically to the films Southern Comfort and Paris is Burning, “family” acts as the integral foundation for support, survival, success, and growth of love for each individual involved. Through the insight of the films, I will reexamine the traditional concepts of “family” in terms of social, economic, racial, and gender relations.
Paris is Burning attempts to capture socio-economic, racial, and gender relations through the lens of participants in the Ball culture from 1987-1989 in Harlem. Set in a lower income urban setting predominated by racial minorities, notably African Americans, the documentary effectively explains the differences that poor homosexual and transgendered blacks face in a world (seemingly) dominated by rich white Americans. In the face of oppression, people tend to organize themselves for emotional, political, social, and economic protection. Combating oppression through a social outlet like the Ball culture becomes the means which underprivileged ethnic minorities in the film organize for emotional, economic, and social support.[4]Participating in the Ball shows not only facilitates the creation of a social space for those estranged from mainstream society but it empowers minority groups to express themselves publicly in a safe environment.[5] Participating in a social space that caters to the needs of the transgendered and homosexual community allows for the solidification of a person’s true identity to manifest itself. Creating a true identity of one’s self can be healthier than maintaining a closeted heterosexual identity. Heterosexual society perpetuates its own image and discourages anything outside of the heterosexual norm. Therefore, the homosexual community and transgendered community must acknowledge their differences by coming out of the closet thereby reversing the heterosexual norm.
The underpinnings of a family construct begin with the economic disparity and racial differences (in response to affluent white society). Racial inequality and homophobia in mainstream society create an opposition movement in which minority members come together. In the face of opposition, the social connections between peoples that frequent the shows become strengthened. Many aspire to use their creative dance talents to become “legendary” in the world, as Kim Pendavis stated. An unidentified voice over said, “A ball to us is as close to reality as we’re gonna get to all of that fame and fortune and stardom and spotlight.” But what predisposes these people from attaining stardom or greater aspirations?
Returning to the opening quote of my work, the difficulty for black gay men to find equal opportunities in white society may prove difficult in an underdeveloped urban settling like Harlem. Indeed, if being black, gay, and male is three strikes, then it must be even more difficult (four strikes) for black gay females.[6] Other Vogue participants like Venus Xtravaganza and Octavia St. Laurentrealize that their prospects for worldwide stardom may fall short due to the stigmatization of transsexuality placed by society. Yet overall, the group enjoyment that brings Vogue participants together not only perpetuates Ball existence but it manifests positive dreams and aspirations to act as an outlet from economic and social oppression. As Dorian Corey states,
In real life, you can’t get a job as an executive unless you have the educational background and the opportunity. Now the fact that you are not an executive is merely because of the social standing of life… Black people have a hard time getting anywhere. And those that do, are usually straight. In a ballroom, you can be anything you want.
Corey marks the distinction that today through categorization people try to emulate certain socio-economic groups. Someone may dress like a business executive to publicly express the disparity between economic classes. Since this person may feel that they never will attain the status of a business executive because of their lack of education, by wearing the clothes that a business executive would wear. Subscribing to that executive category the participant publicly demonstrates that if they were given the same chance for executive employment, they too could excel. In all, the hierarchical social stratifications create a venue where those who feel excluded from society can group together and pioneer new identities for themselves.
The Vogue scene combats everyday adversity by creating “houses” or “families.” A house comprises itself of members whom win a competition and claim the victory in the name of that house. Venus Xtravaganza won her first Ball competition and claimed the victory in the name of the House of Xtravaganza. Declaring the victory in the house’s name thus marked her official membership to the Xtravaganza. Matriarchy defines house leadership as the “Mother” acts as head of the House and either male or female can be the “mother.” Why this definition of leadership falls onto terms of matriarchy at first seems unclear. With membership comprising mostly of homosexuals and transsexuals the rejection of traditional heterosexual gender roles appears as the prime reason for a matriarchal system. Pepper LeBeija, Mother of the House of LeBeija considers herself “mother” of the House of LaBeija because she watches over “her” children to nurture them. So long as the “mother” acts as the strongest person (dancer too) of the family and cares for their children, gender becomes nonexclusive.
Beyond the structure of a simple dance organization, Houses draw deeply upon the ideology of family. Each family’s homosexual and transsexual affiliation leads to the reconstruction or redrawing of family. In an unconventional sense, House families differ from the traditional nuclear patriarchal sense of family. Because of Venus’s transsexuality and her biological parent’s inability to cope with that fact, Venus ran away from home at a very early age. Venus’s story epitomizes the characterization of attitudes many biological families face when a homosexual or transsexual issue arises within the biological family. People faced with these issues and with no place to turn for emotional or economic support, find solace in Vogue “families.” Since Vogue families replace the missing emotional and economic support left in the vacuum of biological families, Vogue families reconstruct a new identify for self preservation through a family unit.[7]
At times, the construct of “family” operates on a level similar to nationalism or patriotism in defining an “us” versus “them” mentality. Family members find dynamic self identifications with other members of the family. Far before Venus won her trophy in the name of Xtravaganza, she claimed, “I was already a member.” This identification on a broader scale enables a level of intimacy to evolve among family members. The ideology of family cohesion, and the need to defend family honor by winning competitions can lead to violence. Characterizing Benedict Anderson’s Imaginary Communities, family pride leads to an overarching idealism where the family becomes a community or institution of greater value than other institutions.[8] This imaginary construction of a community through individual groupings similar interests, values, and beliefs can be dangerous. This “us” verses “them” mentality leads to subjugation of others in the name of an imagined construction, the family.
Just as violence may emerge from the community of a family, love too may emerge. Southern Comfort examines transsexuality in a rural setting while focusing upon the nontraditional concepts of family. Robert, Maxwell, and Cas transitioned from female to male and Lola is (or is in the process of) transitioning from male to female; each find solace while in the others company. Robert frequently calls himself the “grandfather” or “father” of his “children,” Max and Cas. Living in the rural country of Toccoa, , Robert’s “chosen family,” as he stated, visits him frequently.
Robert chooses to call his close friends his chosen family stemming from the lack of biological family support. Robert’s biological family comes to visit while not revealing their faces or their names. Robert’s family claims anonymity to avoid social persecution from their neighbors. They do not want their neighbors to discover that their former daughter transitioned to a man. His nuclear family “closets” Robert’s true male identify from the world as a way to hide their shame and fear of social stigmatization. They claim to be, “proud to know that in him, beats the heart of my daughter.” Focusing upon the language that Robert’s father chose, he cannot reconcile Robert’s choice to become a man. Robert’s parents accept the new name of Robert since they converse with him on a somewhat regular basis. But the heart that beats in Robert acts as a link to the female they raised thereby denying the male construction of Robert. Since his parents reject Robert’s gender identification, Robert finds solace among his friends that understand and love him for the man he finds within himself. Therefore, Robert built a network or environment of loving and nurturing friends that treat him like a member of the family he does not have.
Just as Robert’s mother and father reject his gender identification so do his brother and sons. Robert’s brother never appeared in the film and one of his son’s did not appear. Robert’s other son visited and displayed a great deal of confusion to his father’s choice to transition. His son stumbled frequently while trying to decide which pronoun to use, him or her, he or she. Within his son’s confusion he consistently referred to Robert as his “mother” or “mom.” Unlike Robert’s parents, his son did not “closet” Robert’s transsexuality as he proceeds to inform his friends of the fact. “If I were to have gotten married, mom would have been my best man,” he said. Placing the distinction of Robert as the best man demonstrates his son’s acceptance of Robert’s physical appearance through the transitioning aspect. His son’s disregard for social norms or the impact a transsexual father instantiates upon his personal life shows his love for his father. Yet calling Robert “mom” bears for him a grain of animosity or a sort of irreconcilable difference of opinion. The haphazard usage of pronouns clearly shows his confusion towards “what” Robert as a mother means to him internally. Robert’s son cannot transform his mental construction of what motherhood to male version of parental love. Inevitably, Robert’s gender identification alienates him from the love and care of his family while he dies of cancer from the cervix and ovaries. None of his biological family visits him at his deathbed, only those of Robert’s chosen family came.
Maxwell’s mother similarly constructs a set image of her son’s gender identification. She only refers to her son by his birth name, the female she gave him. Maxwell’s girlfriend wrote a letter to his mother explaining how defeated Maxwell felt from her rejection of his transitioning. The letter also bears fruition of the fact that, regardless of Maxwell’s gender, he still came from his mother’s womb and therefore she should still love him. In response, his mother called him and left a message on his answering machine, referring to him as Maxwell. Touched by the apparent effort his mother took at reconciling their differences, Maxwell stated that he would, “keep this [tape] forever.”
The construct of family mediates the disparity of social inequality. Robert tried to contact twenty different doctors to treat his cancer all of which refused on the basis of his transsexuality. Social stigmatization or “embarrassment to the doctor’s patients” became the sole motivating factor doctors discriminated Robert and refused him treatment. The small town setting facilitated the spread of social phobias for the treatment of transsexual patients. Afraid of hurting their professional’s reputation, the doctors suggested that Robert seek treatment in the city, implying that a city affords anonymity due to the large number of population. In the absence of public medial support and his biological family’s support, Robert’s chosen family cares for him throughout this process of attempting to find medical treatment. In the end, Robert could not find reasonable treatment near his home but his chosen family remained by his side to nurture and care for him. The care given to him by his chosen family reinforces Robert’s belief that, “family is the core, the stone, what holds everything together.” Robert alludes to the traditional structure of family as a support mechanism in the face of adversity. Much like the Houses in Harlem, the family transcends biological backgrounds.
Robert made a promise to himself; he decided to stay alive for Southern Comfort so he could be with his chosen family one last time. “Southern Comfort is what keeps me alive this year,” Robert said. And he kept his promise. Held in Atlanta, Southern Comfort each year joins together members of the transsexual community. At “SOCO” as Robert called it, “the loving, coming out party,” he headed a panel on intimacy with Lola and later gave a speech on family.[9] Robert emphasized the love and understanding that Southern Comfort affords. Not only did Robert view his close friends as those he chose to be his family, but all those at Southern Comfort equaled that of his chosen family.
Both Southern Comfort and Paris is Burning focus on people from lower economic tiers and how economics relates to the formation of family. Though set in significantly different areas rural versus urban respectively, for the most part transsexuality and homosexuality carry negative stigmas. In the urban areas, a person of a racial minority with an identification of homosexual or transsexual face deeper criticism than someone who lives in an isolated rural area. Lola, for example, lives in a middle class neighborhood and currently struggles for a complete sense of female identity (while transitioning). With Lola’s white appearance and higher economic situation characterize the higher level of stigmatization that face those of the “upper crust,” i.e. not on the poverty line. But the ideal of community and family play crucial roles in filling the void left by economic poverty or lack of biological family connections.
Whether the terminology calls for a House or a chosen family, language defines how people interact with one another on many levels. Employing language to create social constructs or redefinitions of the family, people like Robert and Venus find places where love and care reign. As Lola stated, “Nature delights in diversity. Why don’t human beings?” While many heterosexual Americans do not understand homosexual and transgendered communities, a reconstructed family does.
Works Cited
Paris is Burning. Dir. Jennie Livingston. Videocassette. Prod. Fox Lorber. 1990.
Southern Comfort. Dir. Kate Davis. Prod. Kate Davis, HBO, 2001.
Amy Hoffman, Hospital Time. Durham and London, Duke University Press, 1997.
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[1] Unidentified voice over, Paris is Burning.
[2] Amy Hoffman, Hospital Time. Durham and London, Duke University Press, 1997. p. 112.
[3] Reasons for stigmatization varied from the idea that homosexuality are immoral to religious beliefs excluding the existence of AIDS. The idea of shame and admitting to society that in ones family contains someone that has HIV/AIDS acts to recognize homosexuality in itself.
[4] A Ball benefit organized in 1989 featuring key “houses” raised $350,000 towards research and housing for the homeless with AIDS. This demonstrates the extent to which Ball organization became a political motivating force. Through the agenda for AIDS research, the benefit received media notoriety.
[5] “Voguing” is a dance form that mixes dancing techniques with personal attitude. The Vogue is not exclusive to transvestites and transsexuals but it is open to anyone willing to participate and demonstrate an open level of self expression. Dorian Corey describes a shift from the traditional “drag” show Ball one that featured glam flamboyancy of “old generation” Las Vegas style to the “new generation” of Ball participants.
[6] Women get paid lower wages then men so the difference in race makes it even more difficult for homosexual black women to sustain wages equal to that of white male Americans, especially in an underdeveloped urban setting. Homosexuality and transsexuality are therefore Ã?¯Ã?¿Ã?½gendered’ in terms of what gender one wishes to transition.
[7] Pepper LaBeija “mother” of the House of LaBeija watches over her “children” because she knows that most children have no where to turn and no families.
[8] For more information regarding the construction of Nationalism, see Benedict Anderson, Imagined Communities: Reflections on the Origin and Spread of Nationalism.London, New York. Verso, 1991.
[9] SOCO, is nickname or short for Southern Comfort.
