The Cure for Holiday Depression

Holiday Depression affects millions of people around the world. Some people get depressed because they are lonely, some get depressed because they aren’t lonely, but have far too much to do, see, and feel during the holidays. And, some people are just ‘normally’ in a state of depression, and then holidays pop into their lives with all the expectations of friends, family and fun.

My husband’s career requires him to often work holidays in an emergency services position. The first year we were together, he was scheduled to work straight through from Christmas Eve through New Year’s Day, 12 hour shifts. And, when he was home during that period, he was often just trying to de-stress and relax, or sleep. We were unable to go to any of the many parties and get-togethers friends and family were having. Even at my advanced years of 45, I had only twice missed Christmas morning with my birth family, a silly, joyous celebration that always included each of the six kid’s hand-knit Christmas stockings filled to the brim with things like nuts and candy, socks, toothbrushes and toothpaste. The year I was in Thailand, I was busy scuba diving offshore caves. The year I was exploring the Anasazi ruins in the Southwest, I didn’t even notice it was Christmas until the day after.

But, this was different. My family (and his) were all within 20 miles. I was torn between running off to my families celebrations and being here for my much adored husband, between his long and often erratic shifts.

I sunk deeper and deeper into depression, as the holidays neared. I decided I just had to do something different, and pull myself out of the black hole of depression. I needed to celebrate the holidays in a new way altogether!

The first thing I did to help myself ‘cure’ my holiday depression was bone up on cooking my husband’s favorite foods. Believe me, that was an exercise in self-control, in itself! I decided that, since he was going to be so extraordinarily involved with his work, that every moment we DID have together during the holidays needed to be absolutely wonderful. The house was sparkling clean, and tidier than he had ever seen it. His shirts and slacks were pressed. (Thanks to the local cleaners!) His lunches were packed with his favorite foods. (Thanks to the local deli!) And, then I moved on to what I needed.

I needed to reach outside myself.

Many of the children in our apartment complex were going to have rather bleak Christmas celebrations, due to one or both parents being out of work, or just generally beaten down by struggling to make a living. I did a little bit of research, found inexpensive ‘goodie bags’ at a party store, bought candy and colorful stickers, pencils with cartoon characters printed on them, a couple pounds of bright beads, and a few spools of elastic stretch cord. I recorded a couple dozen Christmas songs, made inexpensive (but very cool) bracelets out of the beads and elastic cord, bought and distributed 360 cheap tree ornaments, filled 180 goodie bags (I admit I did eat a ‘bit’ of chocolate candy while filling them) and then carted the whole shebang out of our apartment and up to the main office. It turns out, the management team had planned on doing ‘something’ for the children in the complex, but had no funds to support a Christmas party. What great timing! A week later, several days before Christmas, the management team held a very fun party for the kids, and I absolutely delighted seeing the little ones run around for weeks after with their goodie bags!

Dollar stores are great for rolls of inexpensive stickers. Simply snip them apart and toss a few in each bag. In fact, dollar stores are great for all kinds of inexpensive toss-ins.

â�¢ Huge bags of candy, often called pi�±ata fillers,

� small toys,

� pencils,

� funny shaped erasers, etc.

NOTE: Try to keep everything even when filling the bags! You would be surprised how the kids do ‘comparisons’ and can feel either smug or slighted, just because “Joey got more stickers than me!”

I was still a little depressed.

I started to contemplate my state of depression. What was it, exactly, that was causing the depression? It was something about sharing joyous times with loved ones. It was actually during a dream that it all became clear to me.

In my dream, my grandpa sat on my bed and said, “Kimmi, you will never know how much a smile can help, until you smile at someone who has nothing, and know he is your equal.” Ok, that freaked me out! It woke me from a sound sleep, even!

So, the very next morning, I got up and started perusing the yellow pages. I was looking for missions and homeless shelters.

I called all three that were within my city. All three were totally welcoming and eager to have the help. I signed on for shifts throughout the holiday and was almost excited.

At 6:00 AM sharp Christmas Eve morning, I showed up at the mission, dressed in a reindeer sweatshirt and a pair of blue jeans. By 8 AM, I was elbow deep in a huge vat of mashed potatoes. Throughout the day, I served men and women who came in from the bitter cold to share a little comfort. By 4 PM I was exhausted, my hair coated with potatoes and gravy, sweet potatoes and jello. And, I was HAPPY!

I was happy to know that I had a warm home to go to at the end of the day. I was happy to know that, even though my husband wasn’t able to be with me, and I wasn’t able to be with my birth family, that I had mastered my depression through service to others.

I can tell you several things:

� There is always someone worse off than you

� There is always someone lonelier than you

� There is always someone who has less than you

Holiday depression isn’t a joke, and holiday depression is not something that just goes away. But, with effort and selflessness, depression can be beaten down into the depths, and you can live!

Grandpa was right.