The Explosive Dating Disaster & How to Avoid It
Some women may argue that any man who is put off by nature’s call is unreasonable and doesn’t deserve to date them. However these women are severely limiting their dating options. According to a poll I recently conducted among fifty single men, twenty-three confessed that they felt it was inappropriate for a woman to pass gas in their presence! This statistic is not so surprising when you stop to consider lingering stereotypes of what an ideal woman should be: proper, clean, and pleasant. For example, I heard a joke last month about a middle aged man who yells out to his wife during a football game “Bring me a beer!” She does so, and in handing him his beverage releases audible flatulence. He is shocked and, instead of thanking her for serving him, chastises her saying “All these years you never farted in front of me, how could you start now?” People laugh at this joke, finding his genuine shock and overreaction amusing. Yet there is truth in humor and the man in this joke is hardly alone in his stance against stinky women.
Several female friends of mine have been victimized by their inability to fend off natural explosions on dates. Most recently, a close girl friend of mine who I will refer to as Athena for the duration of this article, discovered that overdosing on the chewy Viactiv calcium pills can have a devastating effect on relationships. Assuming that Viactiv is healthy in any dosage since it decreases the chance of developing osteoporosis, Athena failed to read the warning on the vitamin which warns that too many pills can result in stomach pain and bloating. After eating several Viactivs, Athena went over to see her boyfriend of one month. As they were being intimate later that night the pills took effect, she erupted like a volcano, and her beau’s affections were blasted away.
In order to avoid explosive dating disasters, the smart single woman must be proactive. Mexican food may not be your best bet for a first date, steer clear of milk products prior to getting hot and heavy, and keep in mind that dried fruit is frequently synonymous with rejection. These simple pearls of wisdom may seem absurd, but if you heed this simple advice you can maintain your aura of perfection until he is hooked. After that, you can blow him away anytime!
