The Human Paradox

Utter changes wisping through from day to day;
My personality breaking down; beginning to fade.
There was a time when I knew not who I was;
But then I wondered and pondered and understood.
However, I’m beginning to find I’m not the same.
I’m starting to do things that I’ve never done before.
I’m starting to say things that I never used to say.
I’m losing touch; losing touch with my core.
I used to think I was an angel with wings;
But now I see there’s a devil within.
Self control is a matter that brings
Me to a place I have never been.
I used to have so many routines;
Living by chaos controlled within order.
But now my life is beginning to wean
Into chaos controlled by disorder.

Now I find it hard to socialize.
Lately I’ve simply begun to cry.
I don’t know why, I don’t know why.
I don’t know how to explain, but I try.
I’m lost within a world of my own,
Internalizing that which I externalize.
Always feeling like a kind of cyclone,
Unable to externalize that which I internalize.