The Internet Predator and Your Children

The Internet predator is becoming an even more popular foe to our children these days. As children, we (the adults) were told things like “don’t talk to strangers”, “don’t accept a ride from a stranger” and “don’t talk on the phone after 8pm”. Many of those same things that we were told, apply to our own children today. But many adults were gladly allow their son or daughter on the Internet at night time or unsupervised. Would you allow the slightly over developed body of your 14 year old daughter to walk alone and unsupervised in the local shopping mall or park? I’m sure you wouldn’t. Well the SAME dangers to your child apply on the Internet as they do out among various strangers. There are no more child predators out now than there were when we were children, but NOW, with the presence of the Internet, there is a new breed of child predator to add to the mix. The Internet predator. This article will discuss on how to educate your children on how to protect themselves from the Internet predator, as well as educate YOU on how some things that our children may do on the Internet are unknowingly putting our children at risk of coming in direct contact, face to face, with an Internet predator.

With social networking sites such as ” MySpace.com”, “Facebook”, and “Xanga” exploding in popularity, teenage diaries are no longer hidden under the bed. They’re posted online, often freely accessible to anyone, anywhere. Bits of information that seem perfectly harmless such as a first name, a school name, interests, and worries can be seen and used by sexual predators. For the Internet predator, the Internet has become a target-rich environment. Allow me to walk your through fictitious situation but one that happens more frequently than you may think.

The Path Of The Internet Predator

Ashley is a typical 14 year old teenage girl. She’s active in school sports, thinks she knows everything (don’t they all), and complains often on her blog that her school teachers and parents just don’t understand her.

Ashely, like many teens has a Myspace.com page and a network of friends. The people that she has on her friends list are all boys and girls in her same age group. She only lists her first name on her page, her school and interests. Not too much information at all. (so she thinks). She has a couple of pictures posted showing her nice long and dark hair, dressed in her favorite tight Levi jeans with that sexy crooked smile that she has in every picture she ever posed for.

The Internet predator is admiring Ashley’s page quite frequently. “She doesn’t LOOK 14” he says to himself. The Internet predator comes to the conclusion that being the athletic sports fan that Ashley is, she might just be on the girls softball team at Springfield High. He does a Google search for her high school and finds a picture of this years field hockey team and softball team. Upon close examination of the two team photos, the Internet predator recognizes Ashley in the picture of the softball team when comparing it to her MySpace photos. Below the photo are the names of the team members. “Ashley Sampson”. He now has Ashely’s last name.

The Internet predator now Goggles Ashley’s full name and the name of her high school. He finds a local newspaper story about how Ashley’s father, Donald Sampson organized a fund raiser to purchase new equipment for the softball team. The Internet predator now has Ashley’s father’s name (Donald Sampson).

The Internet predator goes to Google again to search for all the Donald Sampsons in the city and gets several matches. Out of the 8 or 9 Donald and D. Sampsons in the phone directory, the Internet predator finds one that lives within a mile of Ashely’s school. The Internet predator now knows where Ashley lives.

At this point, the Internet predator knows just where to find Ashely (a baseball / softball field for example) and breaking the ice with Ashely won’t be a problem. The Internet predator gains Ashley’s trust with ease. He is kind, polite, and a perfect gentleman. He says all the right things to Ashely, like how when he was a child, he found that his parents didn’t understand him either.

In the course of about 2 weeks, the Internet predator and Ashley have several “chance” meetings in public areas. Nothing inappropriate is said or done on either side. Ashley just sees the Internet predator as a nice man who is just a very polite gentleman. This leads to Ashely giving the Internet predator her email address and instant messenger user-name. The emails and IMs are harmless. Ashley’s new friend is always so friendly, supportive and reassuring. “Now HERE’S an adult who FINALLY understands me” Ashley thinks.

As a few weeks go by, the emails and IMs gradually begin to get a bit sexual. The Internet predator asks Ashley questions like “Are you a virgin?”. The Internet predator tells her things like, “You are so mature for only 14 years old, I feel like I’m chatting with a 25 year old”. He tells her things like, “Oh Ashley, you could pass for a 21 year old easy”. As a bit more time goes by, the chats between Ashely and her new friend become a bit more sexual. A red flag goes up and Ashley tells her new friend that this talk makes her uncomfortable so he lays off. The Internet predator sends her a new MP3 player loaded with her favorite music with a note saying, “I’m sorry if our chats made you uncomfortable, can you every forgive me?”. Of course, Ashley forgives him and the chats and emails resume.

As a bit more time goes by, the IMs and emails again get sexual. By now, Ashley figures, “Well, he’s right. Everyone DOES talk about sex and do it these days, so this is normal”. Soon, the Internet predator suggests that him and Ashley meet up. Ashly thinks to herself. “Why not? He seems to be the only adult that even comes CLOSE to understanding me”.

Now this scenario is NOT far fetched at all. THAT is how easy it is for the typical Internet predator to come in direct, face to face contact with your child.

What Can I Do To Protect My Child?

Back in the early 2000s, the main Internet predator targets of concern were chat rooms and instant messaging. Now there are blogs and various social networking sites to worry about. In a chat room the Internet predator goes in cold. On these new sites, the Internet predator knows about your children, they know about their friends and they have all this data on you. Most important, the Internet predator knows how to use that data.

Myspace for example. With the popularity of social networking sites, even preteens are frequently using them and has brought Myspace’s number of users to currently over 75 million. MySpace DOES indeed warn users that they MUST be 14 years old or older to register but Myspace has no way of verifying age. MySpace.com is the largest target for the Internet predator.

As a parent, your biggest defense is to buckle down and LEARN THIS STUFF. One particular challenge is that children these days know more about the Internet than most parents do and they use that knowledge gap to win over more time and less supervision online. You MUST bridge that knowledge gap to be able to fully understand the risks your children face online and how you can help them. Get a book, take a class. Do what you have to to learn about computers and the Internet. It’s not easy to protect your children online if you don’t know what they’re doing. Once parents are able to understand the technologies and the dangers of the Internet predator and other things, they can more easily talk to their children about those dangers and how to avoid them.

The Internet and Internet predator needs to be taken VERY seriously. The Internet predator is sly and cunning. The Internet predator is technologically gifted in most cases. The Internet predator knows where to find your children and how to use the information provided. The information contained in this article and the resources listed, will enable you to better protect your child from the Internet predator.