The Irritating Movie-goer Habits that Ruin My Movie Experience
Raise your hand if you’ve been to the movies recently and have been continually irritated by the kid behind you banging away on the back of your chair? Or what about the guy who keeps on talking throughout the movie and gives away key plots? Or how about this – the guy who slurps and chomps on his food making the churning sounds of his popcorn compete for the musical score of the movie? Everyone reading this article better be raising your hand! I know I’ve been completely annoyed with recent trips to my local movie theaters. I’ve given up going to the movies in the evening. I think I’ve been irritated one too many times with the constant crying of kids in movie theaters, cell phones constantly going off and people talking throughout the entire movie.
My fianc�© and I have resorted to visiting the movie theaters during the daytime but this only solves half our problems because these irritating movie ruiners are EVERYWHERE! Based on my experiences at the movie theaters, there are the types of people I have run into and try my best to absolutely steer clear of them at all costs. I am absolutely certain the majority of you will agree.
Guy that laughs at everything. I know, I know. Is this guy that annoying? YES! He is! Sure when I’m in the theater watching a comedy, I understand you laugh at stuff because, well, it’s a comedy. But when you laugh at every single thing that a character on screen is doing, it gets to be irritating and you find yourself counting down the seconds between each ridculous outburst of school girl laughter he may have. I recently was visited by this guy when I went to see Little Miss Sunshine. Great movie. Very funny. But when the entire theater is absolutely quiet because they’re transfixed on a scene that has nothing to do with being funny and Guy-that-laughs-at-everything spews out a belly of laughter? You can’t tell me you wouldn’t be irritated. I think this is the part where the ice cubes from my soda should collide with his head. Does anyone else concur?
Kid kicking chair. Ah, yes. The innocent wide-eyed child sitting behind you playing with his little action figures or whatever the hell else these technology savvy kids play with nowadays. You find your plesantly comfortable in your chair and settle in to watch the previews. Everything’s fine and you’re well into the movie now. But then…it starts. You start feeling a weird bumping sensation against your mid to lower back. Thump. Thump. Thump. A bit irritated, you turn around and see that it’s just a child accidentally bumping his short little legs against your chair. You tightly smile but give a look saying, Stop it, kid. It stops, thank God, but not for long. Thump. Thump. Thump. You turn around completely this time because now you’ve missed one of the most important scenes in the movie because this child finds it amusing to watch your head move back and forth against your chair. That’s right. This is the annoying kid who loves kicking your chair. I’d have to say I’ve experienced one too many of these. The worst is when it’s an adult somehow finding a way to thump your chair continually throughout a movie. To all you chair thumpers, why don’t you wear a sign so we call know to steer clear of you when picking a seat in the theater.
Person who gets out of seat every .5 seconds. Yeah, so .5 seconds is a bit of a stretch but you can’t tell me that when you see this person getting up that it doesn’t feel like everything few seconds? Either they need to go to the bathroom or they’re buying a snack or they’ve got a phone call. It’s always something. Somehow, they’ve manage to pick a seat that’s in the middle of the aisle. So, not only are they bothering you by asking you to move your legs every few seconds, they’re also blocking the view of the movie screen, making you miss what’s happening. Yeah, I haven’t run into this person in a while but just because they’re dormant for now. I guess it’s not overactive bladder season, yet.
People talking on cell phones. Okay. This is kind of a two-parter. First of all, in order for someone to be on their cell phone, it must have to ring. Now, this means they did not turn their phone off. So, let’s go through this all in one motion. Cell phone rings – Strike 1. Why isn’t it on silent or vibrate? Guy picks up the call – Strike 2. Why would you take a call in the middle of a movie? Guy starts talking in a normal voice on the cell phone – Strike 3. This has actually happened to me. I understand that in our day and age where cell phones have become this weird abnormality growing out of the sides our heads is hard to get away from. I’m not saying to leave them at home or anything like that – but there’s a reason why your phone is equipped with a silent and vibrate feature! Put them to use! What’s that? You say you have an emergency and need to take calls as soon as you get them? Well, you know what? YOU SHOULDN’T BE AT THE MOVIES! Come on, people – think a little!
People talking during movie. This can go hand in hand with the people that talk on their cell phones during the movie. I understand you may want to say a little something to your friend sitting next to you about how awesome a scene was or how you can’t believe that guy was the killer but let’s keep it at a hush hush whisper. There’s no need for me to know word for word what you’ve said from 5 rows away. These types of people can be a triple threat because they possess the capability of talking in a normal voice to their neighbor during the movie. They’re also the same people who usually yell things out at the screen or give plot twists away and they absolutely looooove to narrate a movie. From time to time, they are the person who actually talks to the screen during the movie. Now, I’ve been to the movies where there are some people who say funny things once in a while because the scene just calls for it. But there’s no reason to go overboard with it and there definitely is no appreciation for someone who gives movie endings away. These people shouldn’t even be allowed to watch movies in public.
Guy that sits right next to you in empty theater. Although this is a pet peeve of mine, fiancÃ?© is a magnet for these kinds of people. I understand when the movie theater is full and there’s no other way to sit except like a bunch of sardines in a can – but when the movie theater is pretty much empty, why, oh why, would you sit right next to me? There are at least 100 other chairs to choose from. What is so special about the one right next to me? These people are usually some combination of the other annoying movie people which makes it so much worse. Yeah…I hate this guy.
Guy eating and slurping food like a dog. This may sound trivial and perhaps a bit anal but I have the biggest pet peeve when it comes to eating habits. I absolutely cannot stand the sound of people chewing their food when their mouth is open. It’s disgusting! I don’t need to hear you begin the digesting process AT ALL, let alone in the movie theater. This is the same guy that will take 30 minutes attempting to open a bag of sour patch kids as noisily as possible. The worst part is when his soda runs out and he begins to try and suck out every last drop of sugary water out. I mean, I’m all about getting your money’s worth but this is just out of control! This guy could quite possibly be the most annoying of them all.
I’m not trying to figure out a way to rid these people because they will ALWAYS be around. I just want everyone else to be made aware of these people as well. And at some point, justice will be served and they will realize they are no longer welcome in the confines of a dark room and big movie screen full of 200 people. Perhaps…but that day has not yet come. Until then, I have associated content to vent my frustration to.
