The Liberated Mommy: Confessions of a Feminist Mother

Like many other ambitious young women fresh out of college, I suffered an acute identity crisis when I found myself pregnant with my first child just months before graduation. A self-proclaimed feminist, I had spent the previous four years fighting against the idea that the woman’s role is to produce children and maintain the home, and I shook my head in disappointment at my oh-so-promising friends who married and started their families right out of college. I even wrote my honors thesis on the Bible’s message of liberation as it relates to women in leadership and ministry. So what’s a girl to do when she unexpectedly finds herself a mother first and a career woman second?

I am certain that other young mothers experience this same personal dilemma of wanting to give themselves wholeheartedly to nurturing a family and yet feel that this desire not only perpetuates the age-old stereotype of women but also forfeits their abilities to make a difference in the world not just as females but as human beings free of gender barriers. On the other hand, many of us also fight feelings of selfishness for desiring self-actualization when we have a baby on the way. Are motherhood and feminism mutually exclusive?

In order to reconcile ourselves to wearing both of these hats, we must first understand what feminism is. Contrary to popular opinion, feminists are not man-haters who arose out of a controversial 1960s book and formed a questionable political organization in the 1970s. A feminist movement of sorts has existed since the first century A.D. Though many church historians object to placing a modern label on historic events, the first feminist ideas did indeed arise out of the teachings of Jesus Christ and of the early Christian church. Christians were the first to proclaim that in Christ, “there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female” (Galations 3:28). In fact, the women whose voices emerged throughout history come almost exclusively out of the Christian tradition.

While many categories of feminists exist, the term “feminist” merely refers to someone who promotes the equal worth, opportunity, and rights of men and women because of their common humanity and standing before God. We believe that when women are pigeonholed, men too are unjustly labeled. Therefore, to claim the appropriateness of a woman in the home because of her intrinsically feminine ability to nurture is also to unfairly proclaim men incapable of the same depth of care for their offspring. Feminists support the opportunity of both men and women to pursue their holistic potential as human beings – that is, their ability in their vocations, in their communities, in their churches, and in their homes.

In my realization that motherhood and feminism are not mutually exclusive, I discovered some simple ideas that can aid this reconciliation:
�· Feminism is a celebration of what empowers women. We have been given the incredible blessing of bearing
children, and as new mothers, we should celebrate the uniquely feminine experience of pregnancy, labor, delivery, and
motherhood. While we may devote our all to motherhood, we must understand that we are also individuals and that a
world exists outside of our family. Recognize that this world also needs our gifts, passions, and efforts. Dedicate some
time to helping outside of the home through your career or through volunteer work. If appropriate, take your child with you
when you work. He or she is never to young to learn to serve others.
�· Do not allow yourself to get stuck in the monotony of the home. Hone a special skill of yours. Train for a race. Record a
CD. Write a book. Take a course.
�· Refuse to separate household duties into gendered responsibilities. Do your share of yard work and let your spouse
work in the kitchen. If possible, do chores together.

Most importantly, remember that as women liberated from traditional stereotypes, we have the freedom to be as traditional as we please and still communicate the strength and ability of our gender in and out of the home. As human beings, we care for our families out of love, not because it is our duty as women. Now excuse me while I go work on my crocheting.