The Philosopher and the Door

A learned professor of philosophy was wandering the halls of academe when he encountered a closed door.

“This is indeed rare at this institution, I must consult my colleagues about its true significance.” he thought to himself. Reaching inside his jacket, he retrieved his cell phone and called a professor whose area of interest was existentialism.

“The door is there because it is there” explained the existentialist. “It has no choice in the matter because its existence dooms it to remain closed. If it were meant to be open, it would be open.”

The learned professor then called a friend that taught the philosophy of Christianity. The friend responded with almost an evangelical answer.

“The door is closed because that is the way it was created by God. Had God wished it to be open, he would have created it as open. Any attempt to change the status of the door will be a direct affront to the will of God. If you truly want the door open, you must fall to your knees and pray that it will one day be open.”

He then called a professor who was an authority on Marxism.

“The closed door is symbolic of the barriers erected by the capitalists and their paid lackeys in the Congress!” he said. “The door will remain closed until you organize a collective of the students and the workers to tear down the door and strike fear into those that erected it.”

The learned professor of philosophy was still pondering the advice he had been given when a graduate assistant walked past him, opened the door, and stepped outside into the warm spring afternoon.