The Philospher Kings – Top Ten Philosphers of All Time
Jean Paul Sartre (1905-1980)
The mack-daddy of existentialism conjures up images of beret-wearing, pipe-smoking pseudo intellectuals idling the afternoon away in college-town coffee shops. Perhaps this has something to do with the accessibility of some of his work. Whereas it takes a Ph.D. to comprehend the efforts of most philosophers, Sartre wrote a series of stage plays and novels that the general public could enjoy. Nevertheless, his principle work, Being and Nothingness, requires some background of philosophy to fully appreciate. It is within these pages that Sartre fully explores the difference between ‘being’ and being a human being.
Famously said:
“Hell is other people!”
Did you know:
Sartre served in the French army as a meteorologist during WWII. He was captured by German troops, and spent nine months in prison.
Would say to Bush:
“Congratulations – you have condemned Iraqis to be free.”
Influence on our lives: 5
Fame Points: 5
Eccentricity: 8
Immanuel Kant (1724-1804)
Had a profound influence on nearly every philosophical movement that followed him. Since the early days in Greece, philosophy was primarily tied up with asking question like “How do we know the world really works the way we think it works?” Kant took two often opposed schools of thought, rationalism and empiricism, weaved them together, and asked a completely different question: “How do our pre-conceived ideas form the world around us?” He proposed that reality in and of itself was unknowable, since we inevitably filter it through our own senses and knowledge. This opened the door to new radical philosophical movements like existentialism. For this, Kant is sometimes considered to be the greatest philosophical thinker since togas were all the rage.
Famously said:
“Act only on that maxim through which you can at the same time will that it should become a universal law”.
Did you know:
His parents baptized him as Emanuel Kant, which he later, after learning Hebrew, changed to Immanuel.
Would say to Bush:
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Influence on our lives: 8
Fame Points: 6
Eccentricity: 6
Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)
The infamous author of The Prince, has one of the worst reputations of any philosopher. To this day, people who lie, cheat and steal to get ahead are often described as ‘Machiavellian’. Many of his supporters, however, say that Machiavelli is misunderstood. We repeatedly ignore his views that leaders should “act with due prudence and humanity,” that “it is desirable to be both loved and feared,” and that, although crimes may win an empire, they do not win glory. Still, it is easy to see why Machiavelli carries the burden of his sinister reputation when you look at his view of humanity: “Men, generally, are ungrateful, fickleâÂ?¦ eager for gain,” and quick to lose support for leaders when the going gets tough. Therefore, leaders cannot count on citizens to love as consistently as they can be made to fear.
Famously said:
“It is better to be feared than loved, more prudent to be cruel than compassionate.”
Did you know:
Mussolini submitted a thesis on Machiavelli for his doctor’s degree.
Would say to Bush:
“He who establishes a tyranny and does not kill Bin Laden, and he who establishes a democratic regime and does not kill Bin Laden, will not last long.”
Influence on our lives: 9
Fame Points: 8
Eccentricity: 6
Socrates (470-399 B.C)
Wrote nothing. We know of him only through others such as Plato, his most celebrated student and biographer. Most of Socrates’ philosophy is overshadowed by the magnitude of one thing: he taught us to think, question, ponder, examineâÂ?¦ Although he wasn’t the first philosopher, he was the first to teach us what philosophy was all about. Socrates was arrogant in his humility, claiming to be the smartest man around because he was the only one to admit knowing diddly squat. If you think this sounds strange, you’re not alone; the great men of Athens didn’t understand him either, and Socrates was sentenced to death for his arrogance. Ostensibly, his crimes included corrupting the youth and introducing new gods. Socrates probably could have proven his innocence of these bogus accusations, had he not defended himself in much the same way that he taught, by asking questions and guiding the listener down a path until they found the correct answer for themselves. Now known as the Socratic Method, this technique often drove listeners to rage.
Famously said:
The unexamined life is not worth living.
Did you know:
According to Plato, the last words to leave Socrates’ lips were: “Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?” Insert gay joke here.
Would say to Bush:
“If you think that by killing men you can avoid the accuserâÂ?¦ you are mistaken; the easiest and noblest way is not to crush others, but to improve yourself.”
Influence on our lives: 8
Fame: 10
Eccentricity: 6
Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
Was less optimistic of human nature than Socrates. He believed we could know what was right and still do otherwise. He also dismissed Plato’s idea of a utopian “Republic” as nonsense, and said greed and vice are quite separate from private ownership. Rather, Aristotle claimed these evils proceed from human nature, and would survive even in the midst of absolute communism. The only way for people to be happy, according to Aristotle, was to live a life of moderation. One can be too fat or too thin, too cowardly or too brave, a pathological liar, or the boyfriend who says “Yes dear, your ass look fat”. Such analogies were but one device Aristotle used to persuade audiences. He is considered by many to be the founder of rhetoric – that much despised language used by lawyers and politicians.
Famously said:
“The man who gets angry at the right things and with the right people, and in the right way and at the right time and for the right length of time, is commended.”
Did you know:
Aristotle tutored Alexander the Great.
Would say to Bush:
“A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider god-fearing and pious.”
Influence on our lives: 7
Fame: 9
Eccentricity: 5
Rene Descartes (1596-1650)
Believed that whatever could be doubted, should be rejected. If this sounds like something a mathematician would say, it’s no wonder. Descartes was a renowned numbers man long before he notoriously proclaimed that the ability to think proved his own existence. But what about trees, rocks, and Diet Pepsi? They don’t think. Are they simply – not? This is a common argument to his proposition. But Descartes never said thought was required for being. He simply implied that thought was proof of being. Descartes regarded human perception as being inferior to logic and deduction. For instance, while observing a candle he noted that, although his senses told him that the shape, size, color, texture and smell changed as it melted, only his ability to perform logic told him it remained fundamentally unchanged.
Famously said:
“I think, therefore I am.”
Did you know:
Descartes, also known as Cartesius, combined geometry and alegebra to produce the Cartesian Coordinates System – thus paving the way for calculus.
Would say to Bush:
“You think yourself so well supplied with common sense that you never desire more of it than you already have.”
Influence on our lives: 7
Fame: 8
Eccentricity: 4
Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844-1900)
believed the most fundamental driving force in nature is “the Will to Power,” which can be explained as the desire to exert one’s will through self-overcoming. Over time this would lead to a series of evolutionary self-improvements, until one day a ‘superman’ would be born – so superior that our self-induced morality would be irrelevant to him. He would be “over” other men. Although Nietzsche himself was deeply opposed to the ideals of Nazism, Hitler was not so opposed to the ideals of Nietzscheism. After all, it is easy to see why a man bent on creating a superior race would adopt “the Will to Power”. Nietzsche left behind a blueprint for becoming a rock star of philosophy: Be extremely quotable; describe Christianity as a nihilistic religion for removing meaning from earthly existence; write about dwarves and supermen. And top it all off by going insane.
Famously said:
“God is dead.”
Did you know:
Hitler personally presented a copy of Nietzsche’s works to Benito Mussolini.
Would say to Bush:
“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster, for convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.”
Influence on our lives: 7
Fame: 8
Eccentricity: 9
Adam Smith (1723-1790)
The Author of The Wealth of Nations is considered by many to be father of the modern economy. His ‘philosophy’ of a free marketplace raises Smith to the level of Messiah in the eyes of economists and entrepreneurs around the world. While governments at the time believed the economy should be controlled or it would fall into chaos, Smith maintained that a free market would be guided by an “invisible hand” to produce the right amount of goods for the right price through actions such as supply and demand. For this to work, however, governments could not go too far in implementing a laissez faire economy. Barriers to free trade, such as large monopolies, must be controlled because they have enough power to influence the invisible hand – by withholding resources, underpaying labor and driving up costs.
Famously said:
“It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker, that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own interest.”
Did you know:
At the age of about four, Smith was kidnapped by a band of gypsies. He was quickly rescued by an uncle.
Would say to Bush:
“If Alan Greenspan and I got into a fist-fight, who would you put money on?”
Influence on our lives: 9
Fame: 8
Eccentricity: 3
John Stuart Mill (1806-1973)
Loathed paternalism. If he held sway over legislation today, marijuana would probably be legal, and adults would not have to wear a seatbelt. Mill’s view on laws was that they should exist only when needed to keep people from harming others. A passionate utilitarian, Mill believed that governments should strive to bring the greatest good to the greatest amount of people. Unlike his contemporaries, however, Mill stressed the quality of good over the quantity. For instance, while ‘the greatest number’ of Americans enjoy large SUV’s, cable television and excessive amounts of fast food, Mill might say the government wasn’t functioning properly because these things are trivial when compared with education, health care and a comfortable retirement.
Famously said:
“It is better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a pig satisfied.”
Did you know:
Mill was also a feminist, saying that the subordination of women is one of the chief hindrances to human improvement.
Would say to Bush:
“I never meant to say that the Conservatives are generally stupid. I meant to say that stupid people are generally Conservative.”
Influence on our lives: 5
Fame: 4
Eccentricity: 4
Thomas Hobbes (1588-1679)
Was born the year Spain invaded England. As a child, Hobbes’ father abandoned his three sons, and skipped town to take care of an ailing relative. Hobbes was middle-aged during a civil war in which the King was beheaded, and was retirement age when England went to war with the Netherlands. He was an old man when the black plague hit London in 1664. At the ripe ol’ age of 91, a few years after the great fire of London, Hobbes finally left this happy little world. Given the circumstances of his troubled life, it is no wonder Hobbes thought the condition of man is “a condition of war of everyone against everyone.” He argues that man wants peace only because he fears harm to himself. It is simply to acquire protection that man enters into a ‘social contract’ with the government. Hobbes’ philosophy is similar to that of J. S. Mill’s but more a negative version of utilitarianism. Rather than governments being formed to supply the greatest amount of good, they should endeavor to assure the least amount of evil.
Famously said:
“The life of man is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.”
Did you know:
After writing Leviathan, Hobbes was banned in Britain from publishing anything relating to human conduct.
Would say to Bush:
“Not believing in force is the same as not believing in gravitation. âÂ?¦stupid liberals.”
Influence on our lives: 5
Fame: 4
Eccentricity: 8
And the winner is�
If I Heart Huckabies taught us anything – other than the rubber ball thing – it’s that there must always be a philosophical balance of power. It is no wonder then, that the grandfather of philosophy has tied with the Marilyn Manson of philosophy. With 24 points each, Socrates and Nietzsche share the title of Philosopher King.
Honorable Mentions
Ayn Rand (1905-1982)
Karl Marx (1818-1883)
Saint Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274)
Martin Heidegger (1889-1976)
Plato (427-347 B.C)
S�¸ren Kierkegaard (1813-1855)
Confucius (551-479 BC)
Simone de Beauvoir (1908 – 1986)
