The Refund: Summer Movie Preview
By the way, that’s my wife to the right. Don’t get any ideas.
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Premise: Arthur Dent gets up one day to discover that his home is going to be demolished soon to make way for a freeway. Not long after, his friend Ford Prefect tells him that the Earth is about to be demolished to make way for an intergalactic freeway; and Prefect has a way out. Introducing Dent to the wonders of the “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”, Prefect and Dent are soon stowaways on a spaceship even as Earth is being blown to smithereens. Those of you who read the book know that there’s more…
Persons Responsible: Martin Freeman (Arthur Dent), Mos Def (Ford Prefect), Zooey Deschanel (Trillian), Bill Nighy (Slartibartfast), Sam Rockwell (Zaphod Beeblebrox), Warwick Davis (Marvin the Paranoid Robot), John Malkovich (Humma Kavula), Steve Pemberton (Mr. Prosser), Stephen Fry (The Book), Alan Rickman (voice of Marvin). Directed by Garth Jennings.
Thoughts: This looks like a genuine book to movie translation, and definately a break from the normal movie fare. I’m looking forward to it. Not a bad Date movie, either.
Kingdom of Heaven
Premise: Set during the 12th century in the holy city of Jerusalem, a young peasant blacksmith (Bloom) becomes a knight so that he may help join the Crusades as they attempt to repel the Muslim forces of Saladin who are attempting to take control of the city of Jerusalem. Meanwhile, the young knight also falls in love with the city’s beautiful princess (Green).
Persons Responsible: Orlando Bloom (Balian), Eva Green (Sibylla), Marton Csokas, Brendan Gleeson, Jeremy Irons (Tiberias), Liam Neeson (Godfrey of Ibelin), Alexander Siddig (Imad), David Thewlis (Hospitaller), Jouko Ahola. Directed by The Master, Ridley Scott (Alien, Blade Runner, Gladiator, Matchstick Men, Black Hawk Down; next up after this are Gladiator 2 and ‘A Good Year’.
Thoughts: Ridley Scott’s been making movies before I was born and they’ve been mind-bending and genre-defining. A new world is a step away, and while I’m not sure if Orlando Bloom is strong enough to carry this movie all the the way through, I’m looking forward to seeing how this tale of the Crusades fares. Sharpen that sword, it’ll be better than Troy. Another date movie.
Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith
Premise: If you don’t know who Darth Vader is, my apologies, you live in a cave in Paraguay. Please move somewhere else and see Star Wars. TY.
Persons Responsible: Hayden Christensen (Anakin Skywalker, AKA Darth Vader), Natalie Portman (Padme Amidala), Ewan McGregor (Obi-Wan Kenobi), Samuel L. Jackson (Mace Windu), Ian McDiarmid (Supreme Chancellor Palpatine), Frank Oz (voice of Yoda), Kenny Baker (R2D2), Ahmed Best (Jar Jar Binks), Keisha Castle-Hughes, Anthony Daniels (C3PO), James Earl Jones (voice of Darth Vader), Jay Laga’aia (Captain Typho), Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca), Temuera Morrison, Jimmy Smits (Senator Bail Organa), Tux Akindoyeni (Agen Kolar), Dave Bowers (Mas Amedda), Mimi Daraphet (Bultar Swan), Paul Davies, Sandi Finlay (Sly Moore), Nalini Krishan (Barriss Offee), Kenji Oates (Saesee Tiin), Genevieve O’Reilly (Mon Mothma), Mary Oyaya (Luminara Unduli), Matt Rowan (Orn Free Taa), Orli Shoshan (Shaak Ti), Bruce Spence, Sandy Thompson (Rune Haako), Marty Wetherill (Passel Argente). (Side note: I guarantee that none of you can name half of those guys above.)
Thoughts: This is the grand-daddy of them all, and all indicators point to this action-packed finale to the Star Wars saga as being the best. We answered some questions last week, and I’m not going to say anything else except for this: I’ve got tickets already, do you?
Batman Begins
Premise: When fate prevents him from avenging the deaths of his parents, young Bruce Wayne (Bale) flees to Asia where he seeks counsel from a dangerous ninja cult leader known as Ra’s al Ghul (Watanabe). When he returns, Bruce finds that Gotham City has become overrun with crime and corruption, and that there are forces at work trying to remove him from his inherited place as the owner of Wayne Industries. Discovering a cave under Wayne Manor, Bruce assumes a new identity as a secret detective and guardian of the people of Gotham City against the criminals that plague them…Batman.
Persons Responsible: Christian Bale(Bruce Wayne, AKA Batman), Ken Watanabe(Ra’s Al Ghul), Michael Caine(Alfred Pennyworth), Morgan Freeman(Lucius Fox), Rutger Hauer, Katie Holmes(Rachel Dodson), Cillian Murphy(Dr. Jonathan Crane), Liam Neeson(Ducard), Gary Oldman(Sgt. Jim Gordon), Tom Wilkinson(Carmine Falcone). Written by the mighty David S. Goyer and directed by Christopher Nolan.
Thoughts: Impressive cast, director, and writer. Most importantly, this assembly of people has given much faith to the maligned bat-fans out there by demonstarting that they understand the Caped Crusader. This is already guaranteed to be better than Batman and Robin, but will it beat “Spider-man”? No, but it’s gonna be good.
War of the Worlds
Premise: This is the story of an invasion of Earth by aliens from another world, whose powerful tripod attack vehicles are equipped with disintegration rays unstoppable by the best technology humanity has to offer. The story focuses on a dock worker (Cruise) who struggles to get his family (including Dakota Fanning as his daughter) to safety.
Persons responsible: Tom Cruise (Ray Ferrier), Dakota Fanning (Rachel Ferrier), Miranda Otto (Mary Ann Ferrier), Tim Robbins (Ogilvy), Gene Barry, David Alan Basche, Justin Chatwin, James DuMont, Daniel Franzese, Rick Gonzalez, David Harbour, Mariann Mayberry, Ann Robinson, Yul Vazquez, Lenny Ventio (Manny), Lisa Ann Walter. Directed by The Dominator, Steven Spielberg; written by Josh Friedman (cowriter of Sahara); rewrite by David Koepp.
Thoughts: Well, none of the people involved have failed at making a blockbuster movie, ever. In fact, their films usually wind up on the top 100 All-Time list. They won’t fail this time, either. Make room for this one on June 29th.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Premise: A married couple (Pitt and Jolie) are getting bored with their quiet domestic life. What they don’t know, however, is that they’re both assassins, secretly hopping the world and killing for hire. But their separate lives are about to collide when each finds out their next target is their own spouse.
Persons Responsible: Angelina Jolie (Jane Smith), Brad Pitt (John Smith), Adam Brody (Hector), Vince Vaughn (Eddie), Kerry Washington, William Fichtner, Angela Bassett, Keith David, Greg Ellis (Curtis), Elijah Alexander (Marco Racin), Theresa Barrera (Janet), Ron Bottitta (Charlie), Patrika Darbo, Matt Gallini (Algerian Assassin), Peter Lavin (Mickey), Stephanie March, Michelle Monaghan (Gwen), Jennifer Morrison (Jade). Directed by Doug Liman (Swingers, Go, The Bourne Identity), written by Simon Kinberg.
Thoughts: That’s the best looking married couple ever. Honestly, this film could be about them cooking peas and I’d still go see it. Luckily, there’s lots of guns explosions, fights and enough chemistry between Pitt and Jolie that he bounced from his other Friend, Jennifer Aniston. That alone is worth two straight weekends at #1. This is another date movie.
Fantastic Four
Premise: When an experimental space voyage goes awry, four people are changed by cosmic rays. Reed Richards, inventor and leader of the group gains the ability to stretch his body, and takes the name, Mr. Fantastic. His girlfriend, Sue Storm, gains the ability to turn invisible and create force fields, becoming the Invisible Girl. Her little brother Johnny Storm gains the ability to control fire, including covering his own body with flame, like a Human Torch. Pilot Ben Grimm is turned into a super-strong rocky Thing. Together, they use their unique powers to explore the strange aspects of the world, and to foil the evil plans by the likes of Doctor Doom, which is who the villain of this film will be. Even as they deal with the various threats that arise to threaten Earth’s peace, the Four must also deal with the pressures of fame as the world’s most famous superheroes, and the realities of being a super-powered family.
Persons Responsible: Michael Chiklis (Benjamin J. Grimm, AKA ‘The Thing’), Ioan Gruffudd (Reed Richards, AKA ‘Mr. Fantastic’), Jessica Alba (Sue Storm, AKA ‘The Invisible Girl’), Chris Evans (Johnny Storm, AKA ‘The Human Torch’), Julian McMahon (Dr. Doom), Kerry Washington (Alicia Masters), Maria Menounos, Stan Lee (Willy Lumpkin). Directed by Tim Story (Barbershop; his second film is Taxi), written by Mark Frost (The Believers; cowriter of Storyville, Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me).
Thoughts: Well, the trailer is here, so you may see for yourself. But I’m skeptical, only because Taxi wasn’t good, and I wasn’t around to watch Twin Peaks. The cast looks good, but there’s just something I can’t shake about this film…time will tell, I want this to be good–if only to remove the bad taste of Elektra.
The Island
Premise: Lincoln Six-Echo (McGregor) is a resident of a seemingly utopian but contained facility in the mid-21st century. Like all of the inhabitants of this carefully controlled environment, Lincoln hopes to be chosen to go to the “The Island,” reportedly the last uncontaminated spot on the planet. But Lincoln soon discovers that everything about his existence is a lie. He and all of the other inhabitants of the facility are actually human clones whose only purpose is to provide “spare parts” for their original human counterparts. Realizing it is only a matter of time before he is “harvested,” Lincoln makes a daring escape with a fellow resident named Jordan Two-Delta (Johansson). Pursued by the forces of the institute that once housed them, Lincoln and Jordan engage in a race for their lives to literally meet their makers.
Persons Responsible: Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson, Djimon Hounsou, Sean Bean, Steve Buscemi, Directed by Michael Bay.
Thoughts: Intriguing premise, quality actors and a big-time director. Not much has leaked about this film, except that it’s definately unlike every other movie you’ll see this year. Check it out on July 22nd. This is another date movie.
Stealth
Premise: In the near future, the Navy develops a fighter jet piloted by an artificial intelligence computer. The jet is placed on an aircraft carrier in the Pacific to learn combat manuevers from the human pilots aboard. But when the computer develops a mind of its own, it’s the humans who are charged with stopping it before it incites a war.
Persons Responsible: Josh Lucas (Lt. Ben Gannon), Jessica Biel (Lt. Kara Wade), Jamie Foxx (Lt. Henry Purcell), Sam Shepard (Capt. George Cummings), Joe Morton (Cmdr. Clint “Hud” Huddle), Ian Bliss, Jason Chan, Megan Gale, Ebon Moss-Bachrach. Directed by Rob Cohen, written by W.D. Richter (Big Trouble in Little China), Rob Cohen.
Thoughts: This is an MTV-action movie. just like XXX and The Fast and The Furious. At the very least, it should be entertaining to see humans owned by machines again.
Doom
Premise: When a Special Ops squadron answers a distress call from a science lab on the planet Mars, their investigation reveals that a series of mutant beings are systematically killing off the population there.
Persons Responsible: Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson (Sarge), Karl Urban (John Grimm), Rosamund Pike (Samantha), Ben Daniels (Goat), Razaaq Adoti (Duke), Richard Brake (Portman), Dexter Fletcher (Pinky), Yao Chin (Mac), Robert Russell (Dr Carmack), Daniel York (Lt. Hunegs), Ian Hughes (Sandford Crosby), Sara Houghton (Dr Jenna Willits), Blanka Jarosova (Dr Hillary Tallman), Jaroslav Psenicka (Dr Thurman), Brian Steele (Curtis Stahle/The Baron). Directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak (Cradle 2 Grave, Exit Wounds).
Thoughts: The Rock’s charisma can single-handedly turn a movie into a chart-topper. He’s picking more action movies so far, and this is a good thing. Expect a Shoot-em-up actioner with lots of one-liners, and that’s what he needs at this point to make The Leap. August 5th.
