The Spectrum of Love

There is a “Spectrum of Sex” which at one end is “hooking up” and at the other end is the absolute opposite – abstinence. And in our world there is an abundance of both issues. The pushing of abstinence until marriage is being pushed strongly by the religious groups. Even some non-religious organizations are pushing the no-sex rule. And, there is really no organization backing the “hooking up” or, excuse the usage, looseness of sex. The latter is just being done, but the abundance of the non-abstinence is a true underground revolution.

But, the question is, which one is right? Or better yet, which one is healthy for the existence of True Love? The answers are truly based on an individual level. The notion of waiting till marriage is derived from the various religions. Saving yourself for “the one”, expressing your love by withholding natural desires until you meet the person that you will spend your entire life with. But, with divorce rates soaring through the roof, is this really working? Could it be that the yearning to give in to the desires of the flesh actually lowering the standards of finding your true love, that people are “jumping the gun” in order to get “jumped”. Could the yearning for the intimacy between two people cause someone to make a rash decision?

I believe that the answer depends on the individual, and the reasons why they are waiting until marriage. If they are doing so because their parents expect them to, than I believe that subconsciously they will rush to get to the alter, or that the pledge they made will not last. If an individual is waiting until marriage because of strong religious or personal beliefs, than I feel that their intentions are true to the cause, and they will truly wait until they find that true love they’ve been waiting for.

As I have stated earlier, doing anything that has such a stand as sexual activity or even religious beliefs solely because your parents will be disappointed or something along those lines is extremely damaging to an individual. You must not live your life so that you will please others, you must figure your beliefs and convictions out for yourself. I cannot stress the importance of doing so, because if you live your life for someone else’s sake, than your life will be one of regret.

But could spreading yourself around like butter be a healthy way of living? Anyone who has many one-nighter’s is clearly in search for something. They are longing for something, and their way of going about the search is having sex as the “questions” and hopefully they will find their answer. There are many reasons why doing the above is dangerous. Probably one of the foremost reasons why going about as stated above is so dangerous is the prominence of STDs. I cannot tell you how many individuals I interviewed have been given an STD through their search for “the one”. Even in some cases, they didn’t know their partner had an STD until they separated. In this day and time, “looseness” is a deadly attribute one can obtain.

What about emotional damage? This may not be as present or noticeable as a flare-up of herpes, but the damage caused is far more deep than just physical. The damage delves into your soul and emotions. When you connect with a person sexually, your soul is actually attaching itself to another. This is why becoming sexual with a person adds a whole new dimension to the relationship. If you sleep around with numerous people, you are depositing pieces of yourself all over. And after a time, so much of you becomes torn apart, you become numb to the entire process. You become a sex robot, something that can hump without any emotional connection because you have used it all up.

“It’s happened (one-night stands), but for me, it’s a bit like a doctors appointment. You take off your clothes for a stranger and go through a mechanical process, so you won’t get sick with loneliness. I’m not a big fan.”

~ Anonymous Male