The Teddy Bear’s Dinner
Once Mr. Cuddles finished his breakfast, he ran out into the woods to frolic with his forest friends. Some were other bears, some were butterflies, there were even deer and little lambs to play with. This was the basic day of a teddy; it was simple and easy going. After the frolicking comes lunch and more frolicking, then dinner and bed where they sleep on fluffy marshmallows. Some of the more wealthy teddies even slept on silver clouds.
“Thanks for the frolic fest!” Mr. Cuddles shouted to his friends.
“Come back after dinner for a late night frolic Mr. Cuddles! It will be a jolly golly blast!” the Forest Friends replied in unison.
“Mmm, I can’t wait to pour myself a big bowl of buttons for dinner” Mr. Cuddles said to himself as he entered his tree.
He got out his dinner bowl and placed his butt’n-eat’n spoon on the table. He poured himself a glass of dew, which he collected every morning from the leaves of his tree, and reached for a box of buttons. At first he noticed something strange about the box, but it did not register. “Perhaps it is just a new packagingâÂ?¦” he thought. He attempted to pour the contents of the box into his bowl, but something went horribly wrong.
“Where are my buttons?” he sobbed “Where are my damn buttons?”
Mr. Cuddles ran out of his tree and speed frolicked to the forest trail which led to Teddy Town. The forest trail is long with many dangers at night time, but there was no time to waste, he needed his button dinner. So off he went without fear into the dark forest trail only to meet up with Big Bear, who was on his way to a picnic.
“Whoa there, little buddy! What’s the rush all about here?” said Big Bear in his signature “jolly joy” voice.
“I ran out of buttons and need a new box before I starve!” whimpered Mr. Cuddles, who was on the verge of crying.
“Well my young lad, I think I may be able to save you some time!”
“How can you do that Big Bear?”
“I’m on my way to a picnic right now. We can ravage the humans and eat their flesh!”
“But Big Bear, I am a Teddy Bear! All Teddy Bear’s eat buttons, we don’t eat people.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, young lad; you will be missing out on quite the feast!”
Mr. Cuddles continued on his way to Teddy Town trying to shake the image of Big Bear attacking the poor defenseless humans. But it was just then that he remembered that humans wore clothes with buttons on them. “Maybe if I asked Big Bear real nicely, he might let me take the buttons off of the corpses.” he thought, “Sure it may be immoral, but it would save me a lot of timeâÂ?¦” He immediately spun around and headed back towards Big Bear, hoping that he might still be there.
“Mr. Big Bear, Mr. Big Bear!” Mr. Cuddles shouted “Mr. Big Bear, I want to helpâÂ?¦”
He was interrupted by a loud noise. He thought it might be thunder, or maybe a collapsing tree, but he knew deep down that it was what he feared most: A gunshot and he knew what it meant.
Torn between heading towards danger and helping a fellow Forest Friend, or going towards Teddy Town and getting his buttons, he needed to make his decision fast. Mr. Cuddles and Big Bear were never close friends to begin with, they frolicked a few times, but that was all. But it was in the Forest Friend oath to help a friend in need, and that meant Mr. Cuddles was obligated to go back and see what happened.
It wasn’t long until Mr. Cuddles was at the edge of the forest. He stared at Big Bear, bleeding through a bullet wound in his tummy-tum-tum. He was in pain and near death; with his last bit of strength, he spoke to Mr. Cuddles.
“Avenge me, Mr. Cuddles. Look deep down inside of you; you are more than cotton fluff and buttons. You’re a special Teddy, deep within you is a heart; it may be plastic and serve no vital purpose, but by golly it is still a heart. Go young teddy bear and ravage those humans, and you can have all the buttons you desire.” And with that, Big Bear’s eyes went blank and his head crooked back to the ground.
There was no time for Mr. Cuddles to sob and mourn; there will be time for that later. Now was the time for revenge. The humans were packing up their picnic in a hurry, fearful that more bears were on their way. Their fire was nothing but ashes now and Mr. Cuddles spread some resin across his cheeks and prepared for battle.
He hopped onto the back of the SUV; he crept to the side of the vehicle and slid in through an open window. Mr. Cuddles landed beside a small child and he knew that this infant would be his first victim. He waited until the vehicle started moving until he made his move. A few swift flicks with his “Swiss Teddy Knife” and the deed was done. Next was the lady in the passenger seat, who did not notice him. There was absolutely no struggle. Finally the man who was driving, Mr. Cuddles took the most pleasure in attacking the man; there was something in the back of his mind that told him the man was the one who fired the shot.
With his task done he hopped out of the window undetected and smiled a sly smile. The humans never knew what hit them and the SUV carried on its speedy path toward the highway.
“Soon those humans will get out of their vehicle and perhaps go to the bathroom, and when they do, they will have no buttons to undo!” Mr. Cuddles laughed. Clutched in his palm was a handful at buttons.
